Pressures and crushes

[collegegirl]

Strange title, yes, but I have had two guys in the past couple of weeks develop a liking to me. The one offered me his phone number, I rejected it. We both go to the same college.

The second guy was about a half a week ago, and the people I was working with were pressuring me to get or give a phone number, and I kept telling them no, but they kept teasing me and telling me to get it, and then one of the co-workers of the guy got the guys phone number and slips it to me.

I didn't want to offend the guy cause I didn't know if he was watching the note being slipped to me, so after a bit of teasing from the others, I put it in my pocket, and later gave it to one of the girls to "keep on file" because I would never use it. (just an excuse to get rid of it), only now she still has the note.

I didn't want the number anywhere near my room, or in the house, because I know what my dad would do. Unwanted crushes, pressure from others to get "hooked up"....almost makes me wish I had a B/F to ward off many times unwanted advances.

And they don't understand my point of view....courtship, they give me a funny glance.
No, dad doesn't "discourage" me from talking to boys, just there is appropriate, and inappropriate...and putting his number under an allias name in my phone is deceptive, and I wouldn't do that. I just wish I could get everyone to see my point of view.

Not that I am not flattered, but please....

[jtucker]

i have the same problem but switch the genders, i have a couple of girls that want to be with me but i refuse to date them, i'm not mean but i they know my stance on it.

[HotShot53]

One way that I know some girls use to prevent unwanted attention is to wear a "keep away" or "purity" (or whatever else you want to call it) ring on their left ring finger. Then guys will assume you are unavailable until they actually get to know you.

(I could say other stuff here, but I'd be killed for it, so I won't ;))

[joris]

dunno; I'm more like such a kid that'd long for love and be rejected :y10:

[redeemed]

One way that I know some girls use to prevent unwanted attention is to wear a "keep away" or "purity" (or whatever else you want to call it) ring on their left ring finger. Then guys will assume you are unavailable until they actually get to know you.

(I could say other stuff here, but I'd be killed for it, so I won't ;))

His Princess has one of those rings and i used to but i waved and it flew off my finger!!:012:

[jtucker]

that's a good idea Hotshot!

[EllyMae]

Well, this is a subject that will never have a solution. Unfortunately...lol There will always be ppl who like someone that doesn't like them as well. We just have to deal with things these as best we can. Seems as though you are doing a good job :)

[NeedGod]

uuuh, i use a meaner, or firmer way. when someone offers their number, i firmly say, 'No, i do not want your number'. if they insist, i tell them that more firmly. if they persist, well, i sit them down and talk to them and tell them quite firmly that i am not interested in any form of relationship with them. i then let them know quite firmly that i will not appreciate offers of their numbers in the future. sometimes i get so worked up on it. it always worked for me(except that once...he didnt take a no :no-no-no: and i had to get someone to ward him off)and the guys even respect me after that!

[collegegirl]

The only thing was the fact it was two people who knew how I believed, (and also knew I was single and not "taken"). I might consider one of those rings, either that or finally get my ring that dad gave to me for my birthday several years ago sized down to where I could wear it on my other hand as well. I do happen to have a ring that looks like an engagement ring, and I bought it just for that purpose. I just might start wearing it more...

[JoeC]

I really can't relate.

[HotShot53]

I really can't relate.

Lol, poor Joe.....

[blessed]

If you wear a ring pretending to be married, and a nice christian brother sees you and notices the ring, won't he back off.

[JoeC]

Lol, poor Joe.....

But then, I've been told by someone that at my age he was to naive to notice girls liking him - even though there were quite a few incidents now that he looks back!

That's probably all it is in my case. A severe case of obliviousness.

[joris]

One way that I know some girls use to prevent unwanted attention is to wear a "keep away" or "purity" (or whatever else you want to call it) ring on their left ring finger. Then guys will assume you are unavailable until they actually get to know you.

(I could say other stuff here, but I'd be killed for it, so I won't ;))something bugging on my mind -- "isn't that lying?" :y10: :huh:

[JoeC]

Oh! Collegegirl has been called out!

BOOM!

[NoahL]

Wasn't it actually Hotshot that was called out since he suggested it?

[JoeC]

But collegegirl admitted to thinking about it and wanting to do it. They're both guilty. :beat:

[jtucker]

Well just keep it in prayer one to another,lifting collegegirl up and mentioning her name to Jesus

[HotShot53]

But collegegirl admitted to thinking about it and wanting to do it. They're both guilty. :beat:

Lol, I was just saying others do it, I wasn't saying it was good or bad ;) And believe me, plenty of people do it... in fact, in the pic Samurai is doing now, the person is wearing one... (that's what reminded me of it in the first place ;))

And if you were talking about me Joe with your naivety comment, I think you misread something somewhere... so I hope you were meaning someone else ;)

[AndrewMichael]

Wow, with all those stories of guys presurring you, I'm getting a little sick at my stomach!

I feel a guy should have respect for a lady. If I had someone in mind (even though I don't now, though I did ~ story on the FORT), it would take a long time before I asked for her number, and I mean a LONG time. If a man doesn't have respect to obey your wishes, that wouldn't be the guy I would take :ng_thumbd . A real man of God has more respect for a Godly woman than he would the "King of the World" if there was one.

We should be lead to a mate, not just randomly selecting see what will happen, nor dating without having the belief "I could marry this person." Courtship is to find a husband/wife, not to just have fun! Find someone who you feel lead to through prayer. For those who know my story, if I would have acted without prayer and off feelings, I would have created quite a mess! But praise God for His leadership.

There is someone who is for you only, trust the Lord and He will lead you to that Mr. Perfect :thumbup:

[jtucker]

Amen God bless you!

[NeedGod]

i know, it gets really annoying when guys do that. there was a guy who persisted for more than a year. but it has never really happened to me again coz i am firm and i think firmness helps

[joris]

There is someone who is for you only, trust the Lord and He will lead you to that Mr. Perfect :thumbup:that's Jesus ;) ah, it makes sence now, we are going to get married to Mr. Perfect indeed ;) :)

[jtucker]

Amen i say to you joris!

[redeemed_lizzi]

On Wednesday, I was on the way to work when I was stopped by a bus driver and asked if I was married. I said that I was engaged and he told me that it was a pity beacuse I looked like the marriageable type and he would want to have me as his wife. What a cheek!! Saying I was engaged was a total lie but I really didn't want to deal with the hassle that comes with saying 'no'. Believe me sometimes it's not worth it at all (All the experiences I've had have been dodgy and some scarily so). I just don't understand why some men (speaking about worldly men here) feel they can randomly approach women with such boldness and ask such inappropriate things. They have and show no respect for women and in turn I have no respect or time for them.

[AndrewMichael]

On Wednesday, I was on the way to work when I was stopped by a bus driver and asked if I was married. I said that I was engaged and he told me that it was a pity beacuse I looked like the marriageable type and he would want to have me as his wife. What a cheek!! Saying I was engaged was a total lie but I really didn't want to deal with the hassle that comes with saying 'no'. Believe me sometimes it's not worth it at all (All the experiences I've had have been dodgy and some scarily so). I just don't understand why some men (speaking about worldly men here) feel they can randomly approach women with such boldness and ask such inappropriate things. They have and show no respect for women and in turn I have no respect or time for them.

O my.. this gets my blood boiling! :agry2: I would just love to be there and punch the dude in the face! (or tommy gun him :gun_banda) That's just so wrong, I hate this stupid world. The same has almost come to with girls now... They always say things like "oh, you're such a good guy!" and blah blah..... GO AWAY!!

Can't wait to get out of this world...

[jtucker]

well it's not a lie to say your engaged, if your holy ghost filled you engaged to Jesus and on day he will bring you home to a wedding sup Oh Glory hallelujah isn't God good

[joris]

well it's not a lie to say your engaged, if your holy ghost filled you engaged to Jesus and on day he will bring you home to a wedding sup Oh Glory hallelujah isn't God gooduhm well that's rather twisting the question to mean something rather different... :y10:

[JMG]

O my.. this gets my blood boiling! :agry2: I would just love to be there and punch the dude in the face! (or tommy gun him :gun_banda) That's just so wrong, I hate this stupid world. The same has almost come to with girls now... They always say things like "oh, you're such a good guy!" and blah blah..... GO AWAY!!

Can't wait to get out of this world...

Me too brother, stuff like that makes my blood boil! :gun_banda

[jtucker]

uhm well that's rather twisting the question to mean something rather different... :y10:

not really, man asked if she was married, she's engaged to Jesus, it's still a valid engagemnet, the man asked if she was married he didn't ask who to under what circumstances or anything, and Jesus vowed to wed us, and we know he cannot lie for his word is truth. so it doesn't mean anything different, because an engagement is an engagement no matter who or under what circumstances it is made.

[joris]

not really, man asked if she was married, she's engaged to Jesus, it's still a valid engagemnet, the man asked if she was married he didn't ask who to under what circumstances or anything, and Jesus vowed to wed us, and we know he cannot lie for his word is truth. so it doesn't mean anything different, because an engagement is an engagement no matter who or under what circumstances it is made.I guess so... :);)

[joris]

(but in that case I'm surely getting married :-p)

[redeemed_lizzi]

not really, man asked if she was married, she's engaged to Jesus, it's still a valid engagemnet, the man asked if she was married he didn't ask who to under what circumstances or anything, and Jesus vowed to wed us, and we know he cannot lie for his word is truth. so it doesn't mean anything different, because an engagement is an engagement no matter who or under what circumstances it is made.

I love that!!!! I've never thought of it that way. I normally try to always tell the truth but I just wasn't up to facing such stupidess so early in the morning.

[collegegirl]

As I look back on this thread, it has encouraged me. Thank you all.

[NeedGod]

do i sense someone trying to coat up a lie? because if the intention was to lie, then it is a lie. :)
You know, that man had a nerve girl, its so annoying. but as i looked at it, i realized i could see it positively. well, he looked at you and saw that you were a decent girl and you looked like you could keep a home. unlike all the other women out there. even though its annoying, i have a way of looking at the positive side of everything.:y10: i think i would be both annoyed and pleased at the same time if that happened. i would know my testimony has shown even in my dressing and in my carrying myself.
.....did i make sense?

[redeemed_lizzi]

do i sense someone trying to coat up a lie? because if the intention was to lie, then it is a lie. :)
You know, that man had a nerve girl, its so annoying. but as i looked at it, i realized i could see it positively. well, he looked at you and saw that you were a decent girl and you looked like you could keep a home. unlike all the other women out there. even though its annoying, i have a way of looking at the positive side of everything.:y10: i think i would be both annoyed and pleased at the same time if that happened. i would know my testimony has shown even in my dressing and in my carrying myself.
.....did i make sense?

Yes u do make sense. I thought that as well, but for me it still didn't justify his blatant cheek.

[collegegirl]

When you get thrown into situations like that, you always think "I will do this" or "I will do that", but when it actually happens, you are left grasping for something to say.

I like that..."He has some cheek" :D I have never really heard that expression used before.

[NeedGod]

I am beggining to understand why some people stay single after going through relationship after relationship and all they get is a string of hurts.
God help us

[collegegirl]

Please explain that comment.

Are you just making a general comment?

Or are you referring to something that is happening?

[NeedGod]

I am sorry, i was emotionally unstable yesterday and i shouldnt have posted when i was in that state.

[redeemed_lizzi]

When you get thrown into situations like that, you always think "I will do this" or "I will do that", but when it actually happens, you are left grasping for something to say.

I like that..."He has some cheek" :D I have never really heard that expression used before.

I like it too. I can't remember where I heard it, but it's become one of my favourites. That as well as, 'what impudence', 'the audacity', and 'what bare faced brazenness' :D .

[already bought]

Honesty is always the best.
I guess what was your motive and objective behind it. And if it was a lie or you feel your heart condeming you then I would go make it right.
It can be fusterating and I don't know what that is like because its never happend to me.
But no doute it would be anoing so I can see where you are comeing from.

[fredmaina]

well i guess its normal for guys to behave that way but you just have to stand your ground.you are priveledged to have the revealed word of God with you and it will guide you and how you relate with others

[blessed]

I was at a restaurant waiting for lunch a few mins ago, and this guys walks up to me and said would a brother like me get to spend some time with a sister like you. I just looked at him and smiled ( I can see his face lighting up he thinks he has won) and then said No, I don't think so, have a good day Bye.

He obviously saw that I was a christian and tried the brother sister thing, that is so lame.

[BroTrevor]

I was at a restaurant waiting for lunch a few mins ago, and this guys walks up to me and said would a brother like me get to spend some time with a sister like you. I just looked at him and smiled ( I can see his face lighting up he thinks he has won) and then said No, I don't think so, have a good day Bye.

He obviously saw that I was a christian and tried the brother sister thing, that is so lame.


wow... That's a new one.

[already bought]

I was at a restaurant waiting for lunch a few mins ago, and this guys walks up to me and said would a brother like me get to spend some time with a sister like you. I just looked at him and smiled ( I can see his face lighting up he thinks he has won) and then said No, I don't think so, have a good day Bye.

He obviously saw that I was a christian and tried the brother sister thing, that is so lame.

Thats great what you did. Honering God thats just awesome. Gives me courage that I can do it to.

[jtucker]

i'm the guy that get the nrmal age bracket but also gets alot of offeres form older females, blech!

[Lamb of God]

I get what you all mean I had this one guy were I used to live love me and he was 35 it was crazy:confused:

[Babyruth]

I was at a restaurant waiting for lunch a few mins ago, and this guys walks up to me and said would a brother like me get to spend some time with a sister like you. I just looked at him and smiled ( I can see his face lighting up he thinks he has won) and then said No, I don't think so, have a good day Bye.

He obviously saw that I was a christian and tried the brother sister thing, that is so lame.
You go girl!

[fredmaina]

interesting!we are always taught that sisters were given one great gift- the power to say NO! that doesnt mean that they should always say no but they should always shun people with evil motives!

[already bought]

interesting!we are always taught that sisters were given one great gift- the power to say NO! that doesnt mean that they should always say no but they should always shun people with evil motives!

Never heard it sayd quit like that. I like it.

[sneezy503]

Elly Mae is rite we could like someone and thm not like us back or someone could like us and us not like them back its life we hafta learn how to deal God Will send each of us our "true love" in his time if its his Will for us to get married or just have a bf or gf

[azurity]

This has been an interesting thread! Enjoyed reading it.

My question is: how do you show a guy that you aren't interested, or say no, without being rude or blunt?

I feel like I'm totally niave with the whole dating thing. I'm 22, yet have never been asked out by a guy. Maybe it's 'cause everyone thinks that I look like I'm 17. Or because there are no guys in Australia. I dunno.

Anyway, today at work this guy called me and asked me to find someone's number. His line was busy when I tried to call him back, so I waited for him to call me. He's like the vaguest guy I know, and seemed to have forgotten that he needed the number in the first place. "Ahh... no... actually, I wanted to ask you something else. Sooo... yeah... do you have a boyfriend yet?"

Sheesh. Yet? Whatever made you think I didn't always have one? I wasn't sure if it was the other guy he works with egging him on, because the other guy is always teasing me about that sort of stuff. But he's married, so I can take it better.

This first guy tho... he rings me at work, and just says things like "I was just calling to hear your voice, because it's good to hear your voice again."

And he only sees my "professional" side at work. I try to keep conversations with him brief & business like. Because I don't know how to cope with him, otherwise.

So when he asked me that today, it totally caught me off guard. I felt like he knew the answer was "no" and that he was going to use that to his advantage. I just told him I was busy, and he then turned his conversation back towards work.

Told my friend about it, and she just told me "Relax. He hasn't proposed anything." But then, she's a girl that grew up in the Message, and is going out with an unbeliever.

You'd think with 5 brothers that I'd understand guys. I so don't. I'm not used to them showing interest in me, and it kinda makes me nervous if I think someone is, so I don't know how to respond.

[collegegirl]

Wow. I haven't had a situation like that before, though I have had guys ask me out. It is an interesting situation.

If he gets pushy, I say that you have the right to tell him no, and to stop bothering you, and if he doesn't, tell him that he is harassing you, and if he doesn't stop, that you will need to speak to his supervisor, or somehow make it to where he deals with someone besides you.

Remember, constant, unwanted advances in any sort of demeaning or disruptive way, or making rude comments and such is harrassment. People get in lots of trouble for less than that. Be firm, tell a supervisor. I communicate any sort of thing like that to my supervisors, and they are constantly watching out for my best.

[BroTrevor]

This first guy tho... he rings me at work, and just says things like "I was just calling to hear your voice, because it's good to hear your voice again."


smooth... the guy is smooth...

Sounds like how I used to be...

<uncontrollable laughter>

:rofl:

[Bradley]

hahahhaahhahhhahhahahahahahaha....Trevor!!!! Long time man! How goes it?? Funny comment....
"Sounds like how I used to be"...... u crack me up.
But, as far as the convo topic goes....I have nothing to say:) I'll just read....... heheheh

[azurity]

Brad has nothing to say?? Wow, that would be a first!

[Bradley]

ouch.... and what do you have to base that statement on, seeing as you barely know me....:P
lol, but yes, I have nothing to say on this particular subject......shocking as it may be:)

[azurity]

LOL! Sorry mate, didn't mean that to hurt. You just never stopped talking for like the 5 whole minutes that I saw you, so I thought you never ran out of things to say.

But nothing to say on this topic... now, that's getting more precise. And thoroughly understandable.

[Bradley]

lol, I guess you do have a sense of humor:p For the five whole minutes I saw you, I had been almost assured otherwise:P Guess we were both a lil off ;)
Jk, it's all good. I thought it was funny that you said that. I was only kidding around back with you:)

[azurity]

Ok, now it's my turn to say ouch!

Just because your jokes aren't funny, and I am just a little bit shy, doesn't mean that I don't have a sense of humour!

Nah... that was funny. Made me laugh.

[HotShot53]

But nothing to say on this topic... now, that's getting more precise. And thoroughly understandable.

Lol, I would disagree with you... it's not understandable for brad... unless he just doesn't want to get himself in trouble by saying too much on here ;)

[God'schild]

Lol, I would disagree with you... it's not understandable for brad... unless he just doesn't want to get himself in trouble by saying too much on here ;)

you seem to think you know almost everything

haha

life.

[HotShot53]

you seem to think you know almost everything

haha

life.

I don't think it, I know it ;) Lol, I guess I probably just spend too much time online...

[Babyruth]

You could say that again!

[azurity]

Ah, agreed.

As for Brad... I knew it was strange that he had nothing to say!!

[Bradley]

First, he doesn't know everything about me....or much at all about me for that matter...
Second, I didn't know you were shy Alysa!! lol, I'm sorry to have given you a hard time about that then:)
Third, where was I again?
Fourth, I only talk a lot on certain subjects: Humor and God....other than that...I don't have much to say...
I guess we allll have a lot more to learn about each other:p

[blessed]

Welcome back bradely.....

[azurity]

Second, I didn't know you were shy Alysa!! lol, I'm sorry to have given you a hard time about that then:)

I aren't always shy... and when I am, I aren't very shy! Just that my whole America trip was so fast, so many people, so overwhelming! It was kinda constantly meet new people, have to think of stuff to say... that on top of the maximum of 3 hours sleep a night, being in a whole new, strange country for the first time... I guess you could say I was feeling a little quiet.

But you being the outgoing person that you are... guess you wouldn't understand that!

[BroTrevor]

I was feeling a little quiet.


What is this "quiet" word. Never heard it before...

[God'schild]

[quote=azurity] I guess you could say I was feeling a little quiet.

quote]


i totaly understand i get really really quiet when i meet a whole bunch of people at once i don't know what to say so then i'm very quite. I'm totaly with you on that one.

[EllyMae]

You weren't too terribly quiet when I met you Alysa. I mean, you weren't like loud or anything, but not too quiet... :) lol

[azurity]

Oh yeah, I remember that. I was actually feeling pretty hyper then. I don't get much louder than that.

Ah, that was a fun day!