What is a brother to do?!?

[jtucker]

there is a sister that has been on my heart for a few years now, and i am attracted to her. i've prayed for God to take the desire for this sister out of my heart if she isn't the one and the desire hasn't left me, but he has never really revealed to me that she is the one. i pray all the time about constantly, this is the second biggest deal in my entire life. do you feel i should take the desire to be with her still in my heart as revelation or should i just continue to pray or do both.? please leave any suggestions encourgemant advice or anything else you can. God Bless you All

[PianoMan79]

I am in the same situation right now, so I too will be interested in reading other responses. My suggestion would be to go for it. If it feels right, why not give it a try? Of course you should continue to ask God for advice and guidance.

[BroTrevor]

How does she feel?

[jtucker]

i don't know how she feels, i'm so worried about saying something innappropriate that never let onto to her about my feelings, i haven't even mentioned it to her. should i talk to her would it be inappropriate

[BroTrevor]

Ah...ok...that helps to know where you are at.

I wasn't sure if you were in a relationship with this girl or not, or where things stood...so I didn't know what to say.

Not sure I do now...

Will think on it and pray...

Finding Gods will on a matter means you have to be neutral on it. Are you neutral? Would you be just as happy if you KNEW it was God's will that she wasn't for you?

More later...

[jtucker]

Brother i would feel stupidously happy about it either way, i mean finding your soul mate is the second biggest decision one can make, and i feel if i don't find the right one, i can't walk in the right way God wants for me because i won't have the right help mate to have by my side and vise versa

[jtucker]

i meant to say stupendously(sp?)

[ABC]

My suggestion is to pray and leave the thing to Jesus. Like song that says "Leave it there..." So, you have done all you can, remainder is the job of Lord. ;)

And another thing, go and talk to her. You get to know her and get some clearness about her, if she is just like you want mate to be.

You remember, when bro. Branham was doing healing-service. He just started to talk with brother or sister who was in the line for to get in touch with the spirit of his/her. And I believe, that's a way still to get to know people, to know their spirit and character.

But however, keep praying, Lord has promised to take care of us and our businesses! "He holds the wheel!" =D

[jtucker]

Thanks Abc God Bless you

[Angelo]

Aside from making a study on her person, why not on her family also. To befriend her parents could be a difficult task but it sure will benefit you in the future in finding favor should she be the right person for you.

[HotShot53]

I like both ABC's and Angelo's recomendations... just start talking and hanging out with her a bit, so that you start to know her as just a friend first... and becoming friendly with her parents never hurts if anything serious does devolop later ;)

(Note: I have like zero experiance in this area, so all advice I give is only what I've observed from others ;))

[jtucker]

Very true Thanks God bless

[Angelo]

I wish I'd find my companion in life soon because I think I'm getting tooo old if I am to raise a family. But then, still have to trust Him.

[deAguila]

I had an experience of "having a girl in my mind" and then pray that "if she's not the right one then let her leave my mind." She simply never left my mind as far as I was thinking about her!

Look at what Brother Branham said about stubbornness:

GOD.BEING.MISUNDERSTOOD_ JEFF.IN COD SUNDAY_ 61-0723E
605-47 Stubborn--stubbornness is not of God. And now, the only way to get away from that is you have to have faith to overcome that, that's if you are a Christian. You are a son or daughter of God, whichever you may be, and you will never be able just to stand and rebuke it and rebuke it and rebuke it. It's just like tantalizing a rattlesnake; he's laying there ready to bite you. If you will just ignore him and walk away from him, he can't hurt you. See?
So when you feel that you got a stubborn spirit, lay the thing on the altar, and believe God that the thing is dead and you will never have it no more, and go on and don't even pay any attention to it no more, and the thing will leave you. Resist the devil and he will flee from you; that's "get away quickly." So that would be my advice how to overcome it. We overcome the devil by faith. That's what we overcome all evil, is by faith.

The point here is not that the feelings means stubbonness or an evil thing. But we got to watch because satan can manipulate that into a trap. For me, under the naive conclusion that "if she doesn't leave my mind then she's the right one" I rushed into telling her, directly asking her to be my wife! I told the parents, and they said, just keep your friendship, don't do anything until you finish school. But in course of studies it turned out that she was the wrong girl, now she got married to another man. See.

I think as someone said, that you should start as friendship, but don't rush boy! Church community is good starting point to look around; relationship works differently to different people though. If not careful one could end up with a partner bringing hell-on-earth! I believe that patience and prayer, prayer without a "pre-meditated solution," will let the Lord lead us to a partner who will bring heaven-on-earth for us.

I just wanted to share my little experience, i learned the hard way, and I hope that it will help someone.

BTW: am still single too, so pray for me saints!

[jtucker]

God bless you, thanks for the encouragement. i will be praying brother

[JoeC]

Let us know when you start talking to her.

[jtucker]

Will do! God bless you all. I thank you all for your encouragement on this matter.

[JMC_785]

dear brother,
It is so good to see genuine concern about the person you are considering as a candidate for courtship. I myself have dealt with the same struggle you are facing, and it is wonderful to see you taking it so seriously. First of all, I admire that you understand courting to be the process of finding a suitable candidate for marriage, and that you also know it to be the second most important thing to salvation, knowing the guidelines established in God's Word for you is so highly important to ANY relationship. I trust that you are first and foremost considering someone with the same beliefs as yourself, as being unequally yoked would be a HUGE mistake. To be sure that they were a Holy Ghost filled believer would be my personal first prerequisite. I would talk to her and try to discern her spirit and see if you can develop a close friendship with her, that's going to be the basis of any relationship in which two people truly trust each other. If you are planning on befriending her w/ intentions of courting somewhere down the road, I would recommend asking her parents permission to communicate with her in whatever mediums you will be using, writing, phone calls, etc. etc. This goes a long way to establishing your respect for her parents, and establishing yourself in their respect also. As was stated before, befriend her parents, and discern what backgrounds she is coming from, after all, she is a combination of both of their personalities, and that always includes the best and worst of both parents, thus making being Holy Ghost filled a VERY important prerequisite. Pray pray pray!!!! If there is any one thing you can't do enough it is to pray, and to make sure that she also has an active prayer life. Find out how spiritually well-grounded she is, be sure of her motives and objectives and how concerned she is with knowing her position in Christ. I'm sure there is much more that I've failed to mention but hopefully you have found some helpful guidelines herein, I wish you God's blessing on all that you pursue, and encourage you to prayerfully go for it. After all, sometimes God waits for YOU to make the first move.....

[jtucker]

Thank you Jmc this is a major help to me.

[Chemist]

JT, jmc and others have real good advice. It's always best to start talking on a common subject of interest.........the Word. Follow the advice of the Prophet and pray neutral (excellent advice of Br. Trevor), then put your faith in the Lord to guide and lead you. Put your cares and worries on Him. He looks after His children. And most of all, be patient. The Lord answers prayers in His time, not ours. Often times when we rush things and don't seek His perfect will, we mess things up. It sounds like your doing all the right things and are approaching it with the right attitude.

I will definitely be praying for you brother.

[jtucker]

Many thanks Brother!

[AndrewMichael]

This is awesome because I just, and I mean JUST went through this situation.

First and foremost, yes you need to make sure that she is a true, genuine believer, through casual conversation at church, wait till this checks through before talking through other mediums, and keep that "emotional Josh" off to the side and take things logically. (And make sure that she is not already interested in someone else, this unfortunetly happened to me)....

Then, assuming all goes well, parents are another big importance. Just talk to them as a friend and get to know them as your brother and sister in Christ and see if you can trust their experiences as well.

Next, go through other ways of talking, if interests are being stirred, parents are fine, and all the above are meant. Keep your emotions still out of it! I cannot stress that enough. That is the only way to keep your prayers neutral (which is what I had to do) and no, its not easy but keep fighting that devil off who tries to get you to act that way.

Look for that "something" even though this process above probably takes a few months at the minimum. There is only one mate for you brother Josh, and without the Lord, I don't like your chances, or anyone's for that matter. I know you are praying, just keep them neutral.

I did this with a girl at my church the last four months. I liked her A LOT, everything, her sincerity, her attitude, her presence, even her hair but everytime I tried to make some sort of move (for lack of a better term) I was stopped. If this happens on your attempt, take it to prayer. I started praying and I got really confused. All sorts of weird things were happening too. This girl found out that I liked someone and came up to me and gave me advice! So, I had to have a conversation with her, about her, without her knowing it was her! I bet you can imagine my confusion. I was praying for an answer and I got it. I went to a youth meeting at Bible Believer's Gym (volleyball and basketball), still seeking my answer. I end up talking to this girl for a couple hours and just see "WOW, THIS GIRL IS PERFECT!" Then, when we went and started talking with everyone else, she gets up to leave and I almost went out to say something, I was sooooo close, but something kept me in my chair and I just randomly listened. Then, as the other girls were talking, they said something about this girl liking another guy, who lived in Arizona, "that everyone knew about" except me of course. So confusion hit me like a brick wall and I went to prayer more than ever. I decided to back off and let the Lord have His way. I prayed and felt I should wait till after LA camp and then I will get my answer. Sure enough, when she got back the guy was courting her. I didn't get upset. I prayed for an answer and I got it. I told her later through some emails that I didn't want this to destroy our fellowship, even though it is a little different now (understandably) but praise God for His leadership.

Hope this has helped you. Look for a situation that you don't produce yourself before telling her that you might like her. Going directly from nothing to saying you like her is not a good idea. Take every step slowly and know that if this is her, it won't matter how long you take, you have to be together. God bless you bro.

[jtucker]

Many Thanks Brother, yes going form nothing is not wise at all, i have to take things in a prayed up respectful humble way

[HotShot53]

wow, great first post.... welcome to the forums :)

[jtucker]

God Bless you and Welcome to the forums, and like Hotshot said Great first Post!

[Unregistered]

I find just talking to the person helps... good luck.

[jtucker]

thanks for the enouragement, i appreciate it all Jesus Bless you saints