I need help!!!

[NeedGod]

i do too.
yesterday, i messed up the best friendship i have had in a long time. and why, because i went and fell for my best friend. what kind of stupid thing is that to do? i got a bigger crush than ever on him and all. so what did i do, a more stupid thing. i told him to stay away from me till the crush dies down. why? because he is to good for me. ok, you figured. i have esteem issues, but that is beside the point. it is however true. he is too good for me.
why?
first, he is too good looking and i am just a normal plain jane

second, every girl in church basically has feelings for him so i dont stand a chance

third, he just has everything going for him. he dresses nice, talks nice, acts nice, i cant handle that except in friendship

fourth, he is too nice. He loves God so much and he is just full of goodness and all. His character just spells heaven, trully. i talk to him about God all the time because i feel so close to heaven when i am with him. he makes me feel so nice when i talk about God and all God has done for me.

fifth, he doesnt judge me and that just breaks me apart to bits. why, because i have been judged unworthy all my life in terms of the life i led before. but he was always there telling me that God loves me and all. he didnt judge me.

sixth, i get mad when i am in love. i do strange things and i just am not normal. wait, did i say that right. let me say it again just so you catch it. i am MAD when i am in love, MAAAAAD!

seventh, it will destroy a perfectly good friendship. oh wait, it wont, i didnt need any help with that. i did it all by myself. i destroyed the friendship.

ok, so here comes the part where you come in. please pray for me as i am sooo sad and i have been crying nearly all night. i cant sleep well and i have no appetite. i told you i go mad! anyhows, there you go, pray for me, desperately. i need you people now, i need you to pray for me so badly. please, please, please, i cant go down this road.
i need the strength from God to know the way.
the devil was telling me yesterday that God couldnt love me if He could let me lose my closest friend(and only friend)just like that. the devil has told me many things that just dont make sense. and sometimes i find myself listening. i want to resign myself to His will but it is so hard.
i am crying even as i write this, i cant handle it alone. i am finding it so hard. please pray for me.
why is this happening to me. i was perfectly happy just talking to God and not being in love. i am not pretty enough to fall in love, i am not, i assure you. i cant handle it.
i have told God that i wont eat, i will fast till He gives me an answer. is that the right thing to do. i dont know but i will do it anyhow. please help me Jesus! i need you
God have mercy on me. please God! i cant handle it. my heart i think is just not meant for such deep things.
what do i do? i dont know what to do or how to act or anything. am just a wreck just now. if this is how it feels to fall in love, then i dont know if it is the best thing ever the way people say it is. Help me Christ Jesus
i am sorry people, i just wanted to unload on you people.

[Babyruth]

I'm praying for you. However, I want to tell you something. Do not ever say you are not good enough for anyone. God chose you, didn't He? If you are good enough for God, you are good enough for anyone! Looks do not matter, only character. Maybe you are not ready yet, but whoever God has for you will love you for who you are, not who you wish you were. I think I can speak for all of us that we have grown to love you as our sister in Christ. I think you have a beautiful character and heart for God. You are super funny and outgoing. Nothing about your looks could ever change what I think about you, unless you have put on a front on here, which I highly doubt. I believe you want to be pleasing to God, to serve Him. So, just keep praying. Talk to people you trust, family, friends. I would suggest your parents and/or some older sisters in your church that have been married for a few years. Keep busy with good things so you don't have time to become distracted.

I don't know what you have been doing or how you have been doing spiritually, but maybe you have been spending too much time with your friend than with God. If I am wrong, ignore me and pretend I didn't say this. But sometimes you can unknowingly spend too much time focused on someone that you love or a friend, even if they are a pastor and not enough time alone with God. God may be telling you that He wants your attention. I know He's done that with me a lot lately. My best friend, a girl, left the Message. I don't think it was because of me, but I was trying to understand why she left. I know she needs to make a stand, but I spent all my spare time with her. We did a lot together. I didn't spend as much time with God as I should have. God's allowed other things to happen to make me realize I wasn't focusing on Him. I don't have experience with guys, but I think you should just pray and ask God to show you what to do, which is what you've been doing. Again, also talk to elders for advice.

Sorry if any of this has offended you or not been what you needed. I love you and want you to be at peace. I'm praying for you.

[NeedGod]

thanks ruth and no, you didnt offend me. i needed to hear it from someone else. i think i may have been spending too little time with God indeed. i was just so sad this morning. thanks for the encouragement and for thinking i am nice and funny. i dont know. i think i may have esteem issues maybe. i dont think much of myself. after i went into the world, i feel so unworthy because of the things i did. i wrote them in my testimony. the drinking, smoking, wearing funny clothes etc have made me feel like i am not deserving in the presence of believers. especially those who have stood for so long. strange thing is that he told me yesterday that he felt challenged by my life to try and get closer to God himself. oh my, i need God to give me strength to be able to say, 'not my will, but Thy will'. it seems so simple but it aint. its the hardest thing to say and believe.

[FreeAtLast]

Namwacha, please stop saying that you are not good-looking.
I saw some pics of you and I can honestly say that I have seen worse cases!
Pleease!!!

[JoeC]

second, every girl in church basically has feelings for him so i dont stand a chance

third, he just has everything going for him. he dresses nice, talks nice, acts nice, i cant handle that except in friendship

fourth, he is too nice. He loves God so much and he is just full of goodness and all. His character just spells heaven, trully. i talk to him about God all the time because i feel so close to heaven when i am with him. he makes me feel so nice when i talk about God and all God has done for me.


Namacha, it sounds like you think he's too good for you. Let me tell you a story.

There was once a girl much worse than you, a prostitute turned believer. After becoming a believer she began to become quite a lady, blossoming into a wonderful young woman with many virtues.

There was a young man in the church that all the ladies swooned over. Big, powerful shoulders. Held in high esteem by everyone in the church. Occupied an important position in the community.

One day, after service, the girl's all got in their little huddles and talked about him as usual. He was still in the chapel praying, and unbeknownst to them, asking God about a certain girl in the church. When he finally came out, the little huddles just started arguing over who he would shake hands with that day. Our little sister mentioned earlier was just meekly standing off by herself.

You know what that boy did? Our godly and nice looking young man passed by all those girls. Passed right by them and went up to our young sister. Why, this just set the girl huddles right off! They were all in a tizzy as to why he would want to talk to her.

But he saw something in her, Esther. And he asked her if she would be willing to court him. Eventually, they were married.


Sounds like a nice story, doesn't it? Be nice if it were true, wouldn't it? Well it is true, though it happened many years ago and in a much different setting. Our girl's name was Rahab. The Rahab. Our guy was a renowned captain in the army of Israel.

You can be sure that all the girls of Israel swooned over this man. But much to their shock and awe, he chose Rahab. He chose her because he saw something in her.

Esther, don't doubt the power of God working in your life. And never say that you are not good enough for someone. God took Rahab, a degenerate gentile prostitute, and made her a treasure for one of the captains of Israel. He can do the same for you. Don't doubt him and don't put down His work in your life. You are someone special.

[SisTrev]

can i offer some advice?

Let me ask you a question? Has your friend ever told you that he doesn't think you are nice looking? Or made you think that he is unhappy being with you, even if its just a friend? I think you are underestimating yourself. After all...your husband should be your best friend. I know mine is. Im not saying that you are marring the guy, but if you did it sounds to me like you guys are off to a great start. Not to many girls have a guy friend they can talk to like that...

How did he feel about backing off till the crush wore off? Maybe he has one on you too and just didnt want to say so. If he's a true friend tho he will understand your feelings and give you your space while waiting for you to decide what to do.

Just a short testamony...when i was dating my husband, I knew that he was the one for me...in fact i knew it even before we started getting serious about each other. I just knew that he was the one the Lord had for me. Anyway...there was a time when we almost broke up tho...I started to realize that my world was revolving around him. I was living, breathing, and thinking nothing but him. I knew I wasn't where I should have been with the Lord and also knew that if i let things go on that I'd end up making a mistake or somthing. SO I talked to him about this. Believe me it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do. I basically told him that we needed to only see each other at church for a while till i had things worked out. (He had just moved here btw...he was living in Minnasota and we were doing the distant thing for a while...so you can imagine how he felt after only being here for a few months and i told him this. But I had to be sure in my heart that i was doing the right thing.)

SO to make a long story short...we "backed off" for a few weeks and I did a lot of soul searching and praying. In the end, I drew much closer to the Lord and the Lord lifted a huge burdan off of me about the whole matter. I knew for sure that things were going to work out and that I just need to leave it in the Lords hands.

We were married about a year later....

[SisTrev]

very good story joe....i really enjoyed it...

[desertroses]

Yes Joe, I liked reading the story too... I read something similar in the Seventh Seal book. Bro. Branham was making reference to the Bride, the little dishwash girl that was chosen from among all the pretty girls, by the rich man's son. The way he laid it out was tremendous...

Anyways, my dear sister, let me first start by telling you that I am really proud of you. Proud, because it takes guts and courage to come on here and tell everyone something that is really personal to you. I know a lot of people that wouldn't dare to (perhaps myself included). Don't think that you are 'mad' when you feel the things you do. We all go through it at one point or another. I know how you feel, something similar to your situation happened to me. I know how much it hurts inside, and when you feel so low, that you don't know what to do or think. But you know what? God does not hand us anything that we can't handle. He knows how you would feel at this moment, from the beginning of time. He loves you and will guide you through.

If this guy does not want to continue with the friendship, just because you told him how you feel, than it is not you who has lost.. it's him. A real man does not like a girl for her looks, but for her heart, for her soul. Who is really beautiful on the outside, anyways? We all have our flaws, and wish to change certain things about our appearances if we could. Nobody's perfect.

I know that it hurts right now, and it will for awhile, but take refuge in Him. Whenever you get the chance, reading a paragraph or two of Bro. Branham's messages, or listening to 10 mins of a sermon, will give you strength... trust me, It does help to heal unseen wounds. I know it's hard, but one day, you'll find that it does not hurt as it once did. You will get through this.

You have my prayers...girl, don't cry...

[NeedGod]

Thank you so much people. i dont know what i would do without all of you. I didnt go to class yesterday and i was feeling so low. my lecturer even came and asked me what was wrong because i am the only student who never misses class. anyway, today its a different story.
i got courage and called him and you wont believe this, HE WAS NOT MAD AT ME!
i know, after all that crying and sorrowing, i didnt know what to do. i prayed the hardest prayer ever. i told God to let His will be done, if it tears me up, well, so be it! anyhow, all is well. I feel so pretty now after you people told me all that. i have esteem issues i know. i have been made to feel unpretty for a long time because i am dark in complexion and it is considered that the lighter one is, the prettier they are. dont worry about that though, just pray for me, God will take that away from me.
anyhows, we talked yesterday,(on his insistence) and he assured me that it was mutual but we should just go on our knees and pray unbiased prayers for the will of God. uuuh! pray for me that my prayers will be unbiased.
i am so happy. but imagine, after all that crying to God, i feel like i really talked to Him. and after i told Him may His will be done, i was sad a little for i knew His will may not be what i want, but i knew it would be for the good.
oh my! thank you all for carrying part of my burden.
i am too emotional. oh my. anyhows, thank you all so much. May His will be done. may nothing i do hinder His will, even if it tears my heart out to bits. even if it means me going for the wedding of the person i like best and watching him get joined to someone else, may His will be done. yeah, you guessed right, it is pretty hard to write that, but let that e my prayer!
Thy will is mine,
whatever it be!

[SisTrev]

glad to hear things are going so well....keep up the prayers and all will be well...your friend sounds like a true friend indeed.

[NeedGod]

oh, he is, he is. i am so amazed. me a girl who acts all nerdy:nerd: and geeky can actually be called beautiful. thanks so much freeatlast, that was really good for my ego. and all of you, i love you all. i love you all sooooo much. :thumbup:

[blessed]

Awww.. i am really happy for you namwacha..continue to keep it in prayer

[BroTrevor]

(He had just moved here btw...he was living in Minnasota and we were doing the distant thing for a while...so you can imagine how he felt after only being here for a few months and i told him this. But I had to be sure in my heart that i was doing the right thing.)

SO to make a long story short...we "backed off" for a few weeks and I did a lot of soul searching and praying.

Meanwhile, Trevor was homeless, broke, and suddenly girlfriendless...

<sniff>

Can I have a cookie??

----------------

Namwacha... now that you have given it to God, leave it there! Don't pick the burden back up.

Leave it there...
Leave it there...
take your burden to the Lord and leave it there!!

[desertroses]

lol. I'm so glad for you namwacha that you're feeling better and things are looking up. Take care and God bless.

[NeedGod]

sis trevor, now do you live with all this funny person in the house. i am sure you always need to treat your ribs. :applause: i am in such a good mood this morning. anyone can guess. oh, so many hands are up, who will i choose?
i am so happy!
oh, you there, tell me why am happy!

[Babyruth]

I don't know, why?

[NeedGod]

because Jesus came and saved me and now He lives within me, thats why i am happy today!
ok, and for anoother reason too. but thats another story!:yay:

[SisTrev]

sis trevor, now do you live with all this funny person in the house. i am sure you always need to treat your ribs. :applause: i am in such a good mood this morning. anyone can guess. oh, so many hands are up, who will i choose?
i am so happy!
oh, you there, tell me why am happy!

To be honest...there are times when the funny person in my house does keep me laughing...but when you've lived with him as long as I have then you do get used to it. And learn to dish it right back to him...It can be lots of fun at times....:yay:

[BroTrevor]

Ha! I was penniless, living out of my truck, and my girlfriend all but dumps me and Namwacha thinks it's funny...

[SisTrev]

you weren't living in your truck when you moved here....you just had a very nasty apt that you had to get out of...and then your good friend Brian moved here and let you live with him...so it all worked out fine...:)

[BroTrevor]

you weren't living in your truck when you moved here....you just had a very nasty apt that you had to get out of...and then your good friend Brian moved here and let you live with him...so it all worked out fine...:)

Yeah, but that particular week was when I had to move out of that one guys house...and I ended up staying in the hotel with Uncle Neal. Thank God my uncle was in town for a class...or I'd have been sleeping under a bridge.

<sniff sniff>

[SisTrev]

lets not get into this Trevor...getting of topic...:surrender

[NeedGod]

aww, you people are so funny. i cant help laughing at you trevor. lol

[collegegirl]

WHAT?!!! Tell us what you were going to tell us, Namwacha!

___________
I know the best way to keep someone in suspense....
I'll tell you tomorrow.

[blessed]

Lol, lol, Tevor seems to have a bit of an intersting story

[HotShot53]

WHAT?!!! Tell us what you were going to tell us, Namwacha!

Lol, does she really need to? It's kind of obvious....

[NeedGod]

OK HOTSHOT since you know, why dont you tell us? ha! cmon, tell us...!
ok, ok, i'll say, its because :peep: because i have the majorest majorest crush on someone and he says he likes me too. :peep: what?:y14: you dont believe it, read it on his xanga, he wrote it there. its www.xanga.com/jowaweru yup, its all there written on pen and paper. ok, so maybe it isnt pen and paper but well.....arrrgghhh, same thing! ha! i feel like singing*whistling to self joyously*(although i couldnt whistle to save a life) lol anyhow :yay:

[blessed]

Ha ha lol, you asked for it hotshot....

Has anyone seen mickmack, i have not for a long while, is everything ok with him.

[HotShot53]

Lol, asked for what? I knew that's what it was already ;)

I think mick-mack was sick this past weekend, cause he wasn't at church sunday... but otherwise I dont' know why he hasn't been on here lately... will have to start bugging him again ;)

[NeedGod]

oh, mickmack was ill, oh my i hope he gets well soon. let him know we are praying for him. :)
hotshot the know it all!:)

[HotShot53]

hotshot the know it all!:)

You're the one who said it, not me.... but I agree, I do know it all ;)

[NeedGod]

oh no, do i detect some ego flying about all over the place? do i now? do i?

[HotShot53]

Nope, all my ego is firmly in place... none flying around at all.

[NeedGod]

oh really? you better check again, coz it just flew past this post:)

[HotShot53]

No, it didn't fly past the post... it's sitting firmly in here ;)

[NeedGod]

oh my, what was that that flew past then?
i think you may not know what an ego is, do you want me to enlighten you?
oh, oh my :peep:

[HotShot53]

No, I know what an ego is... and mine is firmly in place ;) Maybe a bit bigger than people think it should be... but it's mine and staying put for now ;)

And I have no idea what went flying past... maybe some bubbles that were bursting?

[NeedGod]

ooooh, POP!
:drowning: <<<<HOtshot drowning in too much ego!
:sherlock: <<<<<me, looking for where he went down
:cry: <<<<<<<<<me crying, coz i couldnt find him beneath all that ego

[HotShot53]

:horseman: <<<<The rescue squad coming
:cowboy:<<<<The main rescuer
:box:<<<<<< The ego getting deflated

Ok, now I'm no longer drowning under it, it's back under control :)

[NeedGod]

uuuh, that main rescuer looks alot like a texas ranger(well thats how they look in the movie clips)
are you sure he really helped. mostly, all they know how to do is gather cows and do rodeo! oh yeah, and gather girls to go dancing
nope, not much help there, let me see if i can find better help for you

[blessed]

:moron:..........................

[HotShot53]

Hmm... didn't see your help, namwacha... looks like blessed brought some though ;)

[Flyboy]

lemme tell ya those texas cowboys know how to rescue...they jus lasso u. Just gotta be carefull they dont drag u as well:cowboy:

[blessed]

lemme tell ya those texas cowboys know how to rescue...they jus lasso u. Just gotta be carefull they dont drag u as well:cowboy:
:lol: Goodness gracious me

[NeedGod]

:moron:..........................
uuuuuh,that works pretty well! so well in fact i couldnt have done it better myself!
flyboy, i think you'll be needing help too. Blessed where are you
arrgggh, where is she when i need her? do i have to do this all by myself? ok, ok! i'll do it!:moron: