Future Responsibilities???

[JoeC]

Does anyone ever think about these? I do. I think about how I'm going to have to be able to provide for a wife an kids financially someday. And then I look at where I'm at now and it's like "how am I ever gonna pull it off?"

Then I think of how I'm going to have to provide for my family spiritually and I look at myself in the present and think "Boy, you got a long ways to go." It's sobering.

[HotShot53]

I have the first part pretty under control... but I agree, leading a family spiritually is a big responsibility, and we all could probably prepare for that part more.

[JoeC]

Not only those things, but then there's developing the personal traits like leadership, patience. Also, ironing out all those little personality querks. I don't know about you all, but I have plenty, and I don't want to have to bring them into my marriage.

[Mick_Mack89]

I'm lacking in both area's. *sigh* There's a lot of work ahead of me yet.

[JoeC]

4 more years of college.... and that just the financial part! <sigh>

I really do think girls have it easier...

[BroTrevor]

I look at where I'm at now and it's like "how am I ever gonna pull it off?"


ha ha ha ha!!!

I think that everyday. God always comes through. This is not to say that you should not prepare yourself, or jump into a marriage and say "God will take care of it".

I look back on 5 years and think... "How did I pull it off?" It's crazy, but it's always, of course, God's grace and help that brings you through.

Spiritually - this is a big one. I had a calling on my life that probably helped me prepare more spiritually than financially. However, I'll tell you, it's not easy leading. It's not easy to weigh and discern how your wife is doing, especially if you see some correction that needs to take place. Never easy to bring it up lovingly. (not to say this happens often) Of course, as you said, leadership plays into this as well.

This is why finding someone with common goals (loving the Lord with all your heart works) REALLY comes into play. Anything that happens, can always be taken back to that. It's the tie post. It really is.

Uhm, quirks are quirks tho Joe. I mean, we all have some quirks, none of us are perfect. So you sing in the shower? Sure, that's quirky, but you don't have to get rid of that quirk to get married.

Seriously tho, the only other thing I think you may be speaking of here (quirks) is emotional quirks. That's another item to be thinking on. Are you emotionally ready? Do any of you have tempers? That's something you don't want in a marriage.

Oh man... This makes me remember alot of stuff over the last 5 years (I married pretty young). Don't worry too much over it. Prepare yourself, which it sounds like you are doing, and give the rest to God.

[HotShot53]

I really do think girls have it easier...

They definately have it easier... and we have to go out and pick one to court, and are expected to take all the initiative... all they have to do is sit back and wait for someone to sweep them off their feet, and drop the occasionally hint if they feel like it...

[JMC_785]

Don't forget what Bro. Barry said at camp, you eat that elephant one bite at a time. Yeah, looking at the future is a little intimidating, but trusting in God will do you much more good than dwelling on what you are capable of in yourself.

[BroTrevor]

drop the occasionally hint if they feel like it...

Some give hints more than occasionally. That helps a little.

[HotShot53]

Some give hints more than occasionally. That helps a little.

Lol, and then your parents warn you that she is too forward, and that you should stay away from her....

[Mick_Mack89]

Hahah... My dad is always telling that the one I should marry should be the girl that is quiet.

[JoeC]

<girls dropping hints>

*oblviousness sets in


I don' think this has ever happened to me... hmmm

[HotShot53]

don't worry, it'll happen soon enough, Joe... at your age it hadn't happed to me at all either ;)

[JoeC]

I don't know whether to feel comforted or alarmed...

it did happen at least one time that I can recall (I'm blissfully ignorant if there were other times), but she was 13. :dft002:

[Mick_Mack89]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ,13 years old HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*snicker snicker*
(ahem) Nothing serious (or even mildly serious) has happand to me.

[HotShot53]

lol, but you only just turned 19 ... that's not too far apart age wise ;) Just wait a couple years....

[JoeC]

Actually, I was 15 at the time. So no, it wasn't.

But 13 and 19? While it wouldn't be a big deal if it was say 26 and 20, 13 and 19 is a totally different playing field. I would have to wait a few years before I could date w/o ppl accusing me of robbing the cradle!

[NoahL]

Does anyone ever think about these? I do. I think about how I'm going to have to be able to provide for a wife an kids financially someday. And then I look at where I'm at now and it's like "how am I ever gonna pull it off?"

Then I think of how I'm going to have to provide for my family spiritually and I look at myself in the present and think "Boy, you got a long ways to go." It's sobering.

So anyways, to get back on topic. Yes, I've given this a lot of thought too. I see my failures in my spiritual walk, and I have a hard enough time trying to keep myself on track. Then to think about being responsible not only for your own walk, but also for your wife and children seems almost overwhelming at times. The only way to handle it is to turn it over to God, which is easier said than done. Unfortunately we have this nature to try and be self sufficient, but there is no way we can make it on our own. There's no two ways about it, we need help from God.

Where I live the housing market has gone absolutely insane. Prices are just going higher and higher, and this is something that has made me wonder a lot. I make a decent living now installing carpet, but of course I still live at home with my mom. I don't see how it would be possible for me to afford a house in this market, but again this is where I just need to put my trust in the Lord. I know that if it is His will, I'll be able to afford a house. But who knows, God might have plans for me somewhere other than Florida, I just need to put my trust in Him, and go where He leads me. I know that if I'm walking in His word, everything will work out ok.

[JoeC]

Houses aren't cheap here either. The other day I passed by a new housing development going up.... they were advertising their homes as "starting in the low three hundred's" :dft002:

[BroTrevor]

Ok, you all just move to Indiana. Home of the free and land of the brave. Not to mention the housing market aint so bad here.

Florida prices are crazy, I have a good friend down there in Palm Beach County. His house value has TRIPLED.

Financially....don't go into debt. Not for a car, not for anything. It takes too long to get back out. Prepare for that. I'm sure you've all heard Bro Barry talk about it.

[HotShot53]

the housing prices are supposed to stop going up as fast, and may even come down a little bit... but they sure did go up fast over the past couple years. If only I had some money invested in a couple...

[JoeC]

Financially....don't go into debt. Not for a car, not for anything. It takes too long to get back out. Prepare for that. I'm sure you've all heard Bro Barry talk about it.

I would have to question the spread of that statement. What about a house?

[HotShot53]

I was thinking the same thing, Joe...

[SpamBoy]

I would have to question the spread of that statement. What about a house?


Try to have a decent down payment.
Get into the correct mortage. (PM SpamBoy for details)
In Michigan I know someone that does Rent-to-Own houses.
Not many people can buy a house outright so stay with your parents as long as you can then kick them out.


-SpamBoy
"0 girls allowed. :ng_thumbd "

[BroTrevor]

There is a right way and a wrong way to buy a house.

I'm not so "legalistic" on mortgages to not accept a 30 yr fixed....

I personally was mostly talking about the more stupid debt. 20 dollars for you and chica to go out to Mexican on the credit card...dumb debt.

25,000 brand new car that you look good in... STOOPID. I don't care how good it looks.

Oh yeah, but hey, I only have 2 years left of that 7 year loan.

[JoeC]

2 yr loan for a hourse?....or a car?

[BroTrevor]

<sigh>

When I was 20ish...I was taken in for a 7 yr loan on my vehicle.

I still have the vehicle. I still have the loan.

Interest rate DOES matter.

[BroTrevor]

Oh yeah, and when the company you're working for goes bankrupt and you're out of a job. 400 dollars a month is a REALLY big car payment.

by God's grace we made it somehow.

To do it all over again, I'd change ALOT.

Of course, I didn't want to live in the city my parents lived in...so I didn't have the nicety of rent free living either.

(my last post was my 500th post!)

[HotShot53]

ouch, yeah, 400/month is a lot...

and congrats on 500 posts :) You're getting there ;)

[jordancpeterson]

Lots of good points here. I keep thinking that as much as I have to do before I’m ready I’ll be in my 50’s. That concerns me because I keep thinking it’s hard enough to find a decent girl now much less in 30 years. :/ Ok, so maybe it’s not that bad. But still. :-)

Fortunately for me I’m still debt free! But sometimes I just want to give up on it and get a car. Then last weekend I got one given to me. Ok so it’s a kind of old car but it runs great and it’s fully loaded (and I mean loaded!!! ever see a 1986 New York Chrysler with voice prompts to ‘not lock your keys in the car’ or ‘running low on fuel’, digital displays that tell you the temperature outside, the direction you are driving, gas mileage, etc.? I didn’t know they made those things back then!).

Anyway things like that make me appreciate God’s mercy to me! I know He’ll have to do all this for me because I’m sure not doing a good job myself.

I'm not as concerned spiritually (I probably should be though). Sure there’ll be trials but if you both have the Holy Ghost, He’ll see you through.

Then I think of Brother Branham talking about the couple in the boxcar. That gives me some hope on that side.

[Flyboy]

fortunately ive never spent over 800 for any vehicle ive had and never had any loans yet..good thing as ive gone ive been in 15 accidents and gone through 4 of my own cars:ng_thumbd ...jus dont get to many ideas..only one outa the 15 was my fault, i jus seem to have this magnetic pull..lol (unfortunatley it dont work on gurls)..i did of course get myself into some trouble with my credit card though it was cause i payed for a college course..then lost my job and couldnt pay it off..then got sick..and my parents had to pay it off and i proceeded to close the account. but i suppose being in debt to them is better than haveing to pay horendous interest

[Flyboy]

Not many people can buy a house outright so stay with your parents as long as you can then kick them out.i can quite agree with that one...jus dont tell on me:yay:

[JoeC]

YESSSS!!! :y10:

[jordancpeterson]

Wrong thread...

[HotShot53]

Wrong thread...

Huh?........

[jordancpeterson]

I had posted something here yesterday and I meant to post it in my welcome thread so I edited that out real quick and didn’t end up posting what I was going to post.

What I was going to say here was that when I was 17 my dad offered me a contract to stay at home for the next 40 years... so yes! Don’t have to move out until I’m 57!!! :-)

[BroTrevor]

I had posted something here yesterday and I meant to post it in my welcome thread so I edited that out real quick and didn’t end up posting what I was going to post.

What I was going to say here was that when I was 17 my dad offered me a contract to stay at home for the next 40 years... so yes! Don’t have to move out until I’m 57!!! :-)

How much is the contract worth?? He's PAYING you to stay home?

[HotShot53]

Lol, what do you have to do while at home?

[jordancpeterson]

It was free room and board for a loooong time! What could I say! Nothing in the contract for either of us to do. Except now he's starting to insist on 'navy showers'. ;) But no, dad really loves to have his kids around so I’m sure we’ll always have an open door. It’s very strange to hear about other kids being kicked out of the house at 18. It’s very sad too (not that they don’t get some kind of screaming deal like me, but that probably in a situation like that there is a strained relationship). :(

[HotShot53]

Yeah, it's a shame seeing people leave home at 18 or so and have to struggle to pay for everything themselves... it's so much cheaper and easier to start saving up when you stay at home.

[JoeC]

here here!

[BroTrevor]

Yeah, it's a shame seeing people leave home at 18 or so and have to struggle to pay for everything themselves... it's so much cheaper and easier to start saving up when you stay at home.

Unfortunately, where my home was there are 2 fields to go into primarily. Tourism, or agriculture.

I was interested in neither.

So I moved out at 18.

I'm not always positive that was the best decision, but I sure went through many trials of my faith. Ate lots of peanut butter and jelly for weeks when I had no money...etc.

To do it again, I'd think alot longer and harder about leaving home at 18.

[cdnjava]

Hey guys.. a newbie here.. been enjoying your posts. Just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary, ok I admit it - I'm old... Was just thinking about how unprepared I was for the 'real world' when I left home at 17 (another long story in and of itself...) However the Lord has always been faithful and has always provided. The most important thing is to always remember that He is the One who is in control. Jordan, count your blessings! Too many young people are anxious to leave home. Take advantage of your situation to earn all you can and save all you can! Someday you will be glad you did!