My Life As A Pineapple (or "A Day From Our Lives")

[JoeC]

This thread is for sharing stories and events from each others lives They can be funny (like mine) or inspirational (ex: the first time you witnessed). Follow my lead!


Okay. The day started out as a perfectly wonderful Sunday afternoon at the Botanical Gardens. Mom and Dad were ooing and ahhing at the pretty plants - but I had more exciting things on my itenerary! I was going to practice riding my bike without trainging wheels (big whoops you say? well, yeah, it was a big whoop - I musta been 7 yrs old!:hey!: )

Anyhow, the road sorta takes a bend around this lake and then goes up a mountain (okay, okay. It was a hill, but to a seven yr old...). Mom and Dad are ahhing at these beautiful swans and paying me no mind as I walk my bike up the mountain. Upon mounting this hill/mountain, I call for their attention. I want to showcase my grand feat of riding down the face of this mountain - seemingly against the forces of death.

The next few moments are a blur. A car crests the hill from the other side and forces me to prematurely ride down the mountainside. I have to make a turn at the foot of the hill to avoid the lake. To make the turn I have to break. I don't know how to brake. Given the circumstances, I meekly call out "WHERE'S THE BRAKE'S ON THIS THING!!!" Nobody answers and I ride right into the lake.

Now those swans that were so beautiful earlier? Their not so beautiful now. They have transformed themselves into Leviathon. They hiss and fwap their wings, speeding towards my tiny seven yr old frame. I just barely manage to get out of the lake, escaping death. From there it's rather anti-climatic. Mom had to go into the lake in her Sunday best to retrive my bike (Dad was off somewhere). I distincly remeber her soaking her knee highs :bigsmile: .

Well that's it. I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to enjoying everyone else's stories myself.

- JoeC

P.S. Oh, and did I tell you that there was a no swimming sign right where my "incident" occured? I'm such a naughty boy. :rolleyes:

[hollikins84]

At church this evening I was sitting in the pew and had my arms folded across my chest- kind of laying on my stomach. I guess the baby didn't like this 'cause he started kicking. It was the weirdest feeling. I can't even describe it, but it felt almost eerie. Anyway, the baby kept doing these little kicks when I guess he must've got fed up with me 'cause he kicked me so hard that I jumped! :eek: My mom looked over at me and asked if I'd fallen asleep! Uh.... no! lol

[Bekah]

HAHA i loved both stories!!!!

[hollikins84]

Well, I teach portraiture in oils every Tuesday night at my Grandma's art supply store. This past Tuesday I spent the day picnicing with some of my family. My hair was rather on the windblown side, but I knew I was going to paint class that night so I wouldn't have to look nice. Lo and behold the local newspaper shows up that night to take pictures! EEEK! Not only do I look a bit on the winded side, but I have prego potbelly to go with it. (Not enough prego belly to look obviously prego.)

Anyway, the photographer really seemed interested in my students' portraits. (I'm not sure if he ever figured out that I was the teacher since I look 16 instead of 20 and my students are quite a bit older than me.) He seemed really fascinated by a black white portrait of one of my student's grandfather. I hoped her wonderful portrait would end up in the paper instead of a sloppy joe picture of me.

Well, her portrait did make it into the paper. And below it is an even larger picture of me helping a student! Eeek! :eek: lol At least most of my messy hair managed to stay behind me and out of the pic and my potbelly got hid behind some easels. lol

[Sara]

I like this idea, post more stories!!! Hehehe... i would post some of mine, but... to be honest... my stories are... just stories... they are just there. PERIOD. Hahaha... i guess sometime i'll sit and write you all one of them. Gotta go for now!

*Sara

[hollikins84]

I was talking to my friend on the phone today, and I had a beep. So, somehow my friend and I got disconnected. I tried calling her back for about the next half hour to forty-five minutes, but the line was busy! A while later I realized that I had been dialing myself the whole time.......... :moron: Then I dialed the right number! lol

[hollikins84]

My house has a wooden wheelchair ramp leading from the front entrance to our driveway. We have yet to take it down, but it's coming down soon now.

When it rains that sucker gets slick. I always try to walk carefully and slowly since I'm carrying precious cargo. The other morning it had rained the night before, and it was still very early in the morning. I was walking CAREFULLY down the ramp to go babysit when-WOOP! Down I went. I felt myself falling and tried to grab hold of the railing, but I still landed rather ungracefully on my derriere with my legs straight out in front of me just like I sat down for a rest. What a sight I must've been.

I've slipped several times on that ramp, but this is the first time I've actually fallen. Luckily I got out of the fall with only a couple small scrapes. (The baby's kicking like usual. So, I guess he enjoyed the little roller coaster ride. lol)

I've had enough of that ramp! IT'S GOING DOWN!!!

[hollikins84]

I've got quite the athlete in my belly. The last few days he has definitely been making his presence known! I was talking on the phone today and he kicked so hard that I cried, "Oh!" I just hope he doesn't do that when I'm standing in line at Wal-Mart or something...

[editor]

I've got quite the athlete in my belly. The last few days he has definitely been making his presence known! I was talking on the phone today and he kicked so hard that I cried, "Oh!" I just hope he doesn't do that when I'm standing in line at Wal-Mart or something...

Are you sure it's a he?

[marvinthemartian]

This is a true story that happened to me when I was in Iraq March of 2003. Because if this we don't say that phrase anymore and if you do, you will get jumped by 50 guys. I know cause I did it. hahaha


Anyways my buddies and I were in the back of a 7-ton (military vehicle) and we were towing a 16,000lbs gun right behind us. The truck hit a bump and everybody woke up from their sleep and they were complaining about the ride and stuff like that. During the whole war we hardly ever eat and all we want to do is sleep. Sense everybody is awake and everyone sounded like they lost a lot of energy, we have to eat because if we stop, we don’t have time for anything. My friend was passing out MRE (meals ready to eat) to everybody and he got the nastiest one of all “PASTA WITH ALFREDO SAUSE”. Once he saw that name he said “it can always get worst”. Next thing you know there was a helmet flying across the back of the truck and hit him right in the head (he was wearing one to). They were telling him if anyone says those words something bad was going to happen. 5 minutes later my earpiece was going crazy and they were yelling out “FIRE FIGHT”. Everybody jumped up, smack Mallo (my buddy) in the head and took position in the truck. The fire fight lasted 30min. and everybody made it out alive with a couple wounded. It wasn’t that bad but a couple scratches here and there. Lucky for me and my buddies was the driver of our vehicle swerved left and right and made everyone fell down at the same time. We got out and charged the enemy and took out every person that was shooting at us. We went back the truck and counted 4 bullet holes along side. 3 bullets came straight to my head and when we swerved, it just missed me. The other one went to my other buddy Jack and it was the same thing to him. I looked at Mallo and I was going to kill him. Everybody was all excided and we didn’t notice that he said it again till 10mins later into the convoy. We got into another fire fight and one bullet hit a piece of wood and grazed me just above the ear. After 15mins of that we were tired. Our Company decided to rest along side of the room to fell up on ammo and water and we can be ready again. It ended up staying there all night and set up a pause (base). At night in the middle of the desert was awesome. The stars came out of the open sky and the full moon lighted up the desert floor. The wind was calm and you can hear a village a mile away. We were talking and just messing around, somehow he said it again. We were running around the truck chasing him and we finally tackled him to the ground. It was a perfect spot to, between the trails of the gun and next to the tailgate. Reason being is if anything happens between the trails, stays between the trails, also next to the tailgate so we can dog pile him. We did to, 10 people got on top of him including myself, but it was all in good fun. Helped relieved some stress and we needed. Anyways that night turned in HELL!!! At first it was a beautiful night then hell broke loose when a sandstorm decided to drop in. I was in my sleeping bag all nice a comfortable till I heard rain coming down on me. So I hop out of my sleeping bag then ate sand. Stupid me I thought it was rain and I’ll go back inside the truck. NOPE it was sand. I got out I didn’t see anything. I couldn’t even see my head in front of my face. It was really bad. So I said “screw it” and went back inside my bag along with 20lbs if sand with it. The sandstorm was so bad, I woke up with sand all over me and buried in it. Everybody was so mad that morning so we decided to dog pile Mallo again and again and again.

Well that’s my story and also a lesson to learn. Never say “it can always get worst” because it will be.

[hollikins84]

Never say never in front of a military person. Gotcha. lol

[Sara]

Well, here's my story... It all happened... Thursday. I was sitting downtown waiting for my bus to arrive so that i could home from school... I was munching on granola (with raisins!) i had packed earlier that day as a snack. Suddenly, i saw a pigeon (or whatever those things are called.... birds) he was staring at me as if he was hungry and wanted me to feed him! I got the message when i realized he wouldn't go away OR stop staring at me. I threw some granola bits to him/her/it and he/she/it immediately ran towards it and ate it. I then wondered away and continued as i was before that thing "asked" me to feed him/her/it. So....

A couple of minutes later i looked down and there were two pigeons. I gave them some more granola and continued as i was... i looked down again, and there were four... then again and there were eight... then sixteen... the more... more... AND MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! I continued to feed them because they all stared like the first one!!! It was getting scary... There was a lady sitting there next to me and she just stared; she looked like she felt sorry for me!

Everything was just fine UNTIL the granola finished. :eek: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!!!
Those things stared, and STARED at me!!! They wanted more and they wouldn't just leave! No. They stayed there and looked up at me with such hungry eyes! I thought, "God save me from these beasts!!!!" (not really, but yeah!) Then... they began to approach me... they got closer, and closer... and CLOSER... just then... my bus arrived!

Friends, if it wasn't for the grace of God, i wouldn't be here today.
REALLY, those things were scary! This is a warning to all of you, IF YOU ARE EVER IN SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, DON'T FEED THE PIGEONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Sara

[editor]

ever watched Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds?" That's what your story reminds me of.

BTW, shortly after watching that movie I heard of a news report - over in London, some lady was attacked by a seagull... she arrived at the hospital dead. I'm surprised I didn't get nightmares!

[Sara]

Well there you go, that was the last time i ever even looked at a pigeon!!!!!! My goodness... i won't eat granola either!!! (it might attract them...)

*Sara

[Bekah]

HAHA that was a funny story sara =)

We wnt to Florda once and was eating on the
beach and my sister had a sandwitch in her
had and a seagull came down and got it right
out of her had LoL it wasn;t funny at
the time because it has just got her lunch but later
it was funny.

[hollikins84]

Oh my goodness! That's too funny, girls!

[Babyruth]

This seems like a fun thread to keep alive. Anyone have any funny stories?

[All4Jesus]

Nope! Sorry...My funny stories are too babyish :) hmm... :think: maybe I could share 1 but NO You would all just burst out laughing :rofl:

[blessed]

well its funny stories that they are telling here so go ahead

[Babyruth]

Yes, please tell us!!!!!

[All4Jesus]

Forget it!!!! I would make a fool of myself! There is one about the time I was wearing a reli reli long skirt but I can't bare the embarrassment. *all4jesus covers her face in shame*

[morning_mist]

when you say long long skirt....how long was it? :think:

[Babyruth]

It's ok, most of these stories are embarrassing, that's what makes them so funny. But, if it's too embarrassing, then it's ok.

[Christian-Samurai]

This board is all about making fools of ourself, we're here to have fun :D

[Babyruth]

Exactly, but, if you are really too embarrassed, then it's ok.

[blessed]

its ok if u don't want to talk about it but as samauri said this board is all about making a fool of yourself he just loves doing that :rofl: :D....you know u are my favourite bro, samauri

[All4Jesus]

when you say long long skirt....how long was it? :think:

It like covered my shoes and went further to the ground. Well my girlfriends were coming to church wearing really stylish tight short skirts so I thought alright then I'll show them girls how a real young sis dresses when she comes to church so I went shopping, got the right size but it was really long. Really long. My sisters found it funny that I was actually gonna do it. Anyways..it got to sunday and we arrived at church so i got out the car (I couldn't even walk- i was walking with this really strange step) and girls and boys turned around and looked and started laughing so I thought whatever you've just not seen a real young sister who doen't care about the stylish tight short skirts and my confidence boosted up (if that's a word). I started walking towards them feeling proud. I got nearer and nearer to the crowd and I just tripped on my skirt. :peep: I was felt sooooooooo stupid!!!! Every single girl just burst out laughing :rofl: I admit the way I tripped was reli funny. Anyway I saw the boys were not laughing-they all came and picked me up. How sweet! I think they were proud of this young sister coming to church wearing a reli long skirt and not following her popular friends. I tell you I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me up. Espeacially when you are a girl and something like that happens it's just so funny at our church!!!! The whole service ended while I was in the toilet. I could not face my girlfriends. They were the ones who made me get the reli long skirt anyway. My sisters were proud but they did laugh. My parents were not at church yet. Thank God my mum would have gone crazy with worry as I am her oldest. She knows I am very sensitive. My dad would have laughed. Honestly my trip was so funny!!!!! I feel silly now telling the story but I enjoyed sharing it with u all. It's silly but I mean tripping on a reli long skirt trying to prove something to your church girlfriends. :) Quite stupid!!!!

[All4Jesus]

It's not reli a funny story but oh well I was being a fool and I love it although I did not feel that way when it happened :)

[blessed]

i think it was funny, dear don't go out of your way to prove yourself to anyone just live for Jesus let his glory shining through convict the hearts of your friends remember whatever you do.. do it unto the Lord

[All4Jesus]

Thank you love :)

[blessed]

you are such a dear heart **hugs**

[All4Jesus]

*hugs back* :D

[Babyruth]

That is a good story, funny, but I like it. I would have been embarrassed out of my mind, but it's good that you can look back on it and smile. I'm proud of you though for standing up for what is right. While it may have been a tiny bit extreme, I think you did the right thing. God bless you!