choosing

[blessed]

hi all i know that there are some married sisters in here can u give some advice in choosing of a husband.... i read in vpiper post to all4jesus that she must first get a godly husband that is so true...but how do u go about choosing one

[All4Jesus]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: u r so funny! I'm sure the answer is prayer. I'm shocked :thumbup:

[blessed]

glad that u think im funny but ...i was wondering any advice apart from the obvious

[vpiper]

do you really want my advise?

If you are doing it right you do not have to choose God will do it for you. like With my husband it just seemed like there was only one choice and it was to marry him.

You meet a guy that respects you, and is honestly interested in you and has the same dream as you do.

Talk about what you want out of life-kids, yes/no-how many, homeschooling/public, discipline-spanking, time out, "wait until your father gets home" will he change diapers?

Career-what does he want to do, does he want you to work

Church -how involved-does he want to be a pastor/song leader/deacon or just the guy who shows up

What kind of wife do you want to be, what kind of wife does he want
or better yet what is your idea of the ideal wife and husband

What kind of chores do you expect him to help with.

Most importantly how was he raised? did Mom teach him how to cook, clean and do laundry? (not that I believe he should be doing it all the time when you are married, but these are skills you might want if you get sick or when you are too pregant to move) Is he moving out of Mom's house into your's?

Money- Mine, your's or Ours

my marriage is prefect for me. I pray you all find one prefect for you.

[All4Jesus]

WOW! That's great advice. I don't want to rush things though. God will take care of everything!

[vpiper]

you are welcome, if I think of anything else I will add it

[blessed]

Thank you so much vpiper that was great advise. i had some things on my mind that i was thinking about but did not know how to ask it directly but you answered them... THanks a lot !!!! :D

[Babyruth]

See, I told you you were the smartest!

[blessed]

who me ????

[Babyruth]

Sorry, I meant vpiper because she is a mom. But, I bet you are almost as smart, I just think that most mom's are super smart. :)

[vpiper]

smartest? me? I don't think so, I guess I just have different experiences that cause me to know different things, like I've been married almost 4 years and come from a large family.

I'm glad I was able to help, I havn't thought of anything more to add

[blessed]

that's ok vipiper what you said help alot and you are very smart

[collegegirl]

Someone made a comment somewhere else on the site about remember why you got married. I know I will have more questions to ask you. Thank you for giving us things to think about.

[vpiper]

the main thing is that why did you get married, or do you want to get married? those things are just things to think about of what you want out of your marriage.

[NeedGod]

oh, this is the ideal topic for me. first, women choose but they should never say it out to the person in question, right? and then i need help.ok, let me tell you all something strange. i think i am halfway through in love with my best friend. he is a believer and he is the sweetest person ever. i tell him anything and he tells me anything. i dont know what to do. how do i get over him. oh dear, i am too old for crushes and too young for anything else. am i babbling?

[vpiper]

Crush? maybe something may come of it, maybe not, marrying your Best Friend would be great. My husband is my best friend and was before we married, but not like you guys. We only knew each other for 2 years before we got married. I hope thing work out and even if you don't end up marrying him you guys stay good friends.

[marichino_freedom]

seth is my best friend.......

:think:

[collegegirl]

Awwwww.....

All I ever had were crushes, but the more that I see people out there, especially non-believers, the more that I see that I am in no way ready for such a commitment as marriage.

[marichino_freedom]

more and more divorces. i have a friend who married her "highschool sweetheart", but they just had a baby this year and now they have a lot of problems.....he smokes pot a lot and she cant do anything about it, really. it is pretty sad because he's cheated on her and everything.

[NeedGod]

oh i would never marry someone not from church, never. and i know my best friend well, so i know what he is capanle of and all. but nowadays i am so fidgety around him. like a kid. and what is worse, he knows me so well i think he has noticed. oh dear. still, i will let God do his will. if he is for me, then i will get him, if not,...oh well..., God will show me. but i do so wish and hope it is him. why didnt someone warn me against getting a best friend who is a guy? :sad:

[blessed]

well if you were here before you could have asked me:D
i fell in love with my one of my best friend who was a guy...unfortunately he loves me to death like a sister sheeessshhhh!!!. i vowed never to speak to him again:D...i did not speak to him for months but we had a true friendship he kept calling and telling me he was sorry and he wants to be my friend cause im a true friend to him blah blah blah...well we are cool now...well actually we had an entire conversation about two days ago. and i got over him.. so things are looking up

[vpiper]

yeah Mary that's how it is supose to be,

I'm Glad I'm married and am done with all of this

[marichino_freedom]

awww...you dont miss it?

:-p

[NeedGod]

yeah, i sure would miss it. but i dont want to be over it all, i still believe in fairy tales. i want it all to have a perfect ending. i hope he doesnt see this because i will be giving him the address of this site. JOE do something before he comes, delete my posts or something. oh, wait, is joe allowed in here?

[collegegirl]

Well, as the editor of the site, I guess he is...but he is no longer moderating this forum, because at one point and time he was. Now I am moderating the girls forum. He asked me because, (ha, go figure), I am a girl, and he thought it would be a bit more appropriate. So, no worries. :D As long as the guys can stay out, we will be fine.

[blessed]

well as we have recently discovered they are not staying out

[marichino_freedom]

it's not like we're interesting or anything....

:-p

[NeedGod]

i think they should have their own forum so that they wont be so peeky. but then, thatwould mean they spend time in their forum and we spend time in ours so that we all dont talk to each other

[marichino_freedom]

soo...we'd go peek in their's !!! (j/k)

or am i :ninja:

[morning_mist]

yea that's a good idea marichino.....ssshhhhh...

[All4Jesus]

:lol:..........good idea :)

[blessed]

GREAT IDEA.. so we should encourage them to start a guy talk thread then we can spy on them :ninja:

[vpiper]

no I do not miss the "Dating Scene" I couldn't imagine trying to find a decent guy with a small church like ours and not many around. I wouldn't even know how to act at a Singles camp. Good luck

[Sara]

:)

Read...

The Choosing of A Bride.

It's the choosing of a bride...

wink wink...

Hehehe...

Jk...

No, but seriously, read it, there's some important stuff for us in there too!

[collegegirl]

My dad told me that I should really listen to that tape. I need to.

BTW, thanks for the encouragement there, vpiper. LOL *rolleyes* that really encourages me. BTW, do you feel there is a difference between flirting and acting "sisterly"? And do you feel as though there are different kinds of flirting?

[chocolateismybestfriend]

girls, besides choosing of a bride what are some other excellent messages that mainly concern girls/women/wives

There are a ton out there, are there any special ones you've heard that were a tremendous blessing?

[vpiper]

flirting vs acting sisterly. . .

yes, I was a big flirt before my conversion. It is not important to flirt to get a guy's attention and flirting should be saved for your husband.

does that answer your question?

[NeedGod]

there is a big difference btwn flirting and good conversation. i too was a flirt viper. flirting is dirty. it is suggestive. when you get suggestive, you are flirting. but conversation with believers is not so, it is good without being suggestive.

[vpiper]

that sounds about right

[NeedGod]

yup, i think it is easy to tell when the conversation veers to flirting. stopping it may be hard though. you need to pray about it.

[marichino_freedom]

it depends on how you look at flirting, though....you can be "flirty" just by having a good time and throwing a football around...or just joking around. it doesnt have to be "dirty", it can just be fun...

[Babyruth]

Flirting of any kind is wrong. You are not acting like a holy daughter or son of God should act when you do it. It may seem fun, but you could be sending a son of God, and yourself to hell if you do it because you could cause them to commit adultry in their heart. Be very careful!

[All4Jesus]

I totally agree :) Amen!

[marichino_freedom]

i'm not trying to say go be a flirt, i'm just saying that if you do those things like play football, or joke or something, it can be looked at as flirty...even though youre really not doing anything wrong

[NeedGod]

yeah, flirting is wrong sisters, any flirting. even when you joke, there are some jokes which are wrong. be careful. you know what, i am so happy today because God is working in me.
:yay: :yay: i am tooo happy today. praise His holy name

[Babyruth]

I get what you mean now marichino. It is annoying how some people think you are flirting if you play sports with the guys because there are no girls to play with. But, if you don't act flirty or in any way that would make a guy lust after you or do anything wrong, then it the problem of the person who thinks you are flirting. You just have to be very careful.

[NeedGod]

now i get it, people think you are flirting but you arent. oh, that is messed up. sometimes there are people who think they are so spiritual they go around finding wrong in others. it is not right. as long as you are totally sure you arent flirting, then i dont see any problem.

[marichino_freedom]

sorry, i'm not very good at being clear on what i mean....

:sealed_li

[Babyruth]

It's ok! We got it figured out.

[NeedGod]

i got it mari, i was just talking to the other people who might be flirting and arent sure if they are or not.

[marichino_freedom]

yeah....and it can be tough...because i love playing football and stuff.

i'm just careful of what i say

[NeedGod]

yeah, although sometimes some girls can be really judgemental. they see you talking to a guy and they decide you are flirting even if you are talking about nothing vaguely flirtatios at all. why, even if you are talking weather. some people are just judgemental. leave those alone. theyarent worth your time

[vpiper]

sometimes the line between having fun and flirting gets blurred. It's not only where your heart is on the matter, but also the guy's mind. It's amazing how a guy can commit adultury with you and you not even know it. just be careful and not batt your eyes.

when a guy talks to me and i feel he is being too friendly, I try to casually mention my husband and try to walk away.

[marichino_freedom]

heehee....that usually scares other guys...the mention that someone has already found their "territory"

[NeedGod]

oh, i know what you mean. it is so annoying. you are having an innocent conversation, and he is sinning with you. that is why we have to repent daily.