Abashai
04-03-2008, 09:30 PM
Wow I hadn't logged on in such a long time that I had forgotten my username:embarrassed:.... how embarassing is that? I do have a valid excuse though.... on my computer at home it automatically logs on and I've been away from it so long that i've forgotten.
Anyway...
I have been thinking about this for a little while, and have talked with some friends, and in fact had a discussion just today with an older young person (31 and married, but hey its whats in the heart) about the fact that it seems like guys, generaly speaking (or maybe I've just been living in a box), just don't really talk with each other about anything more substantial than say... the latest sports results, or, with my group of friends, latest paintball equipment, hunting stuff, and other things that guys do.
Now I'm about to go on a bit of rant here so please be forewarned.
Why is it that girls are allowed to unburden their hearts to one another, and share their deepest feelings, what they are going through, different struggles that they have as young women, but as a guy it would seem to break "the unwritten Man Code" or being considered somewhat ,please excuse the expression, "gay"?
Wouldn't it be much more beneficial for young men if they were able to just find another guy that they connected with, a good pal, and just be able to share their struggles and just the different things they are facing?
Perhaps I am only speaking for myself, but I know that personally I have a difficult time just sitting down and talking, personally, to a friend. (you might not know by the ammount that I type) Perhaps part of it is just they way my personality was programed, but I think a large part of it has to do with the stereotypical "Man Code" that men generally try to take things on, by themselves, and don't really show that they are struggling. Which in a couple ways I would be able to see the plus side of it, because a man has to be the head of the home, and is placed in a leadership role, and has to, as the head of the home, really tackle by himself some serious issues. (I'm speaking completely hypothetical here, and only from a couple of my random observations about marriage.... those more experienced please correct me).
However this stereotypical image, can cause alot of the problems associated with the "coming of age" part of life. Or if not create the problems... help to accentuate them. By not talking about the things with others, you would sometimes be lead to think that you were the only one struggling these issues. (I'm being slightly vague because I don't have enough experience on this forum to know really what would be considered "Kosher").
Now arguably you could say that two young men who are struggling spiritually, perhaps would not be the best combination for a "heart to heart", perhaps alot of this is situation specific.
I do know from personal experience that there are demons, that are completely powerless once exposed. The devil, who is an opportunist, knows this and often attacks very personal areas where it would be a great embarassment to expose, and so by not exposing the demon gains power.
I think that if guys were a little more open with close friends there could be a reduction in "spiritual wavering" if I could say it like that.
And its not even neccisarily the sexual struggles that we young men have but the spiritual things, even when we have just reached a spiritual plateau, where you are not going backwards, but you aren't going forwards either. Many times you can just get contented in your spiritual walk where you think "everythings just alright" but really its not because your not comparing yourself to the standard that God's Word sets, you are comparing youself to the standards that you create, judging your spiritual position by the position of others. Just say "Well I'm doing alot better than they are so I must be doing alright". But what we fail to do is judge ourselves by God's Word, and the high standard that this Message sets. Just by talking and sharing with one another, it would not only help each other but even provoke each other to do better, to try harder, to fight harder.
And it ties in to something else that includes all young people in general, (if you are still reading this e-novel congratulations, and my appologies)
As a young man who has grown up in the Message, and has had friends surrounding me my whole life that have grown up in the Message... why is it that when we just get around together just hanging out, that it is so difficult to have a spiritually centered, and focused conversation? It seems like when young people get together (generalizing again) that the message is just something that is "understood" between them and it, most often, isn't the focal point of activities and conversation.
We get together just talk, joke, laugh, have fun, and all about things that aren't at all wrong, but just not based around the Word. It seems that the majority of the focus is on other things that don't really matter, and a small part is on things that are of utmost importance. It's completley backwards from what it should be... like I said not necisarily things that are wrong, but just things that take your time away from focusing on what is really important.
Please don't get the impression by reading this that I am some super spriritual, untouchable, perfect, young person that is critisizing everyone else. I am not by any stretch of the imagination. I am just trying to point out, and discuss things that I see in my own life that could probably use some changing. Anyone else? Or am I just the only one... the sore thumb... the stranger in the crowd?
Your insight would be really great.... just what do you think?
Anyway...
I have been thinking about this for a little while, and have talked with some friends, and in fact had a discussion just today with an older young person (31 and married, but hey its whats in the heart) about the fact that it seems like guys, generaly speaking (or maybe I've just been living in a box), just don't really talk with each other about anything more substantial than say... the latest sports results, or, with my group of friends, latest paintball equipment, hunting stuff, and other things that guys do.
Now I'm about to go on a bit of rant here so please be forewarned.
Why is it that girls are allowed to unburden their hearts to one another, and share their deepest feelings, what they are going through, different struggles that they have as young women, but as a guy it would seem to break "the unwritten Man Code" or being considered somewhat ,please excuse the expression, "gay"?
Wouldn't it be much more beneficial for young men if they were able to just find another guy that they connected with, a good pal, and just be able to share their struggles and just the different things they are facing?
Perhaps I am only speaking for myself, but I know that personally I have a difficult time just sitting down and talking, personally, to a friend. (you might not know by the ammount that I type) Perhaps part of it is just they way my personality was programed, but I think a large part of it has to do with the stereotypical "Man Code" that men generally try to take things on, by themselves, and don't really show that they are struggling. Which in a couple ways I would be able to see the plus side of it, because a man has to be the head of the home, and is placed in a leadership role, and has to, as the head of the home, really tackle by himself some serious issues. (I'm speaking completely hypothetical here, and only from a couple of my random observations about marriage.... those more experienced please correct me).
However this stereotypical image, can cause alot of the problems associated with the "coming of age" part of life. Or if not create the problems... help to accentuate them. By not talking about the things with others, you would sometimes be lead to think that you were the only one struggling these issues. (I'm being slightly vague because I don't have enough experience on this forum to know really what would be considered "Kosher").
Now arguably you could say that two young men who are struggling spiritually, perhaps would not be the best combination for a "heart to heart", perhaps alot of this is situation specific.
I do know from personal experience that there are demons, that are completely powerless once exposed. The devil, who is an opportunist, knows this and often attacks very personal areas where it would be a great embarassment to expose, and so by not exposing the demon gains power.
I think that if guys were a little more open with close friends there could be a reduction in "spiritual wavering" if I could say it like that.
And its not even neccisarily the sexual struggles that we young men have but the spiritual things, even when we have just reached a spiritual plateau, where you are not going backwards, but you aren't going forwards either. Many times you can just get contented in your spiritual walk where you think "everythings just alright" but really its not because your not comparing yourself to the standard that God's Word sets, you are comparing youself to the standards that you create, judging your spiritual position by the position of others. Just say "Well I'm doing alot better than they are so I must be doing alright". But what we fail to do is judge ourselves by God's Word, and the high standard that this Message sets. Just by talking and sharing with one another, it would not only help each other but even provoke each other to do better, to try harder, to fight harder.
And it ties in to something else that includes all young people in general, (if you are still reading this e-novel congratulations, and my appologies)
As a young man who has grown up in the Message, and has had friends surrounding me my whole life that have grown up in the Message... why is it that when we just get around together just hanging out, that it is so difficult to have a spiritually centered, and focused conversation? It seems like when young people get together (generalizing again) that the message is just something that is "understood" between them and it, most often, isn't the focal point of activities and conversation.
We get together just talk, joke, laugh, have fun, and all about things that aren't at all wrong, but just not based around the Word. It seems that the majority of the focus is on other things that don't really matter, and a small part is on things that are of utmost importance. It's completley backwards from what it should be... like I said not necisarily things that are wrong, but just things that take your time away from focusing on what is really important.
Please don't get the impression by reading this that I am some super spriritual, untouchable, perfect, young person that is critisizing everyone else. I am not by any stretch of the imagination. I am just trying to point out, and discuss things that I see in my own life that could probably use some changing. Anyone else? Or am I just the only one... the sore thumb... the stranger in the crowd?
Your insight would be really great.... just what do you think?