View Full Version : Anonymous question
HotShot53
08-24-2006, 01:24 AM
Someone asked me this question to ask around to see what people thought...
Boy A (not telling who that is) is slightly well shell we say got his eye on girl B (diffenently not saying who that is). They might like a certain style of music that is iffy. But not sure... should the boy just ask her about it and if she thinks its wrong... and how to convince her otherwise...also, boy A is kind of scared to ask because he doesn't want to find out the truth that he already suspects
Someone asked me this question to ask around to see what people thought...
Boy A (not telling who that is) is slightly well shell we say got his eye on girl B (diffenently not saying who that is). They might like a certain style of music that is iffy. But not sure... should the boy just ask her about it and if she thinks its wrong... and how to convince her otherwise...also, boy A is kind of scared to ask because he doesn't want to find out the truth that he already suspects
Just tell them to take it to the Lord...and He will guide them.... confronting her isn't the best way to get into her good graces..
Babyruth
08-24-2006, 03:28 AM
Yeah, I agree with Anna. If he's concerned, then he can pray about it and let God work, instead of him taking it into his hands. God is more than able.
BroTrevor
08-24-2006, 11:39 AM
Someone asked me this question to ask around to see what people thought...
Boy A (not telling who that is) is slightly well shell we say got his eye on girl B (diffenently not saying who that is). They might like a certain style of music that is iffy. But not sure... should the boy just ask her about it and if she thinks its wrong... and how to convince her otherwise...also, boy A is kind of scared to ask because he doesn't want to find out the truth that he already suspects
Who is "they"?? Is that Girl B?
Do they both have the Holy Spirit. If not... THEY NEED GOD!!
<chuckle> (for the way it was said...not for the truth of the matter)
Boy A really shouldn't be interested in a girl that likes the wrong type of music. I mean, if she thinks it's wrong...
"He's afraid of the truth that he already suspects..."
Why is he afraid? Apparently he's not listening to and trusting the still small voice that is speaking to him??
(was that a profound post too??)
blessed
08-24-2006, 12:36 PM
Seems as though BoyA already knows that the girl is not right for him.
HotShot53
08-24-2006, 06:09 PM
Seems as though BoyA already knows that the girl is not right for him.
I don't think so... I think it's more of a case that she's almost perfect, and he'd rather she be perfect ;)
HotShot53
08-24-2006, 06:13 PM
Who is "they"?? Is that Girl B?
Do they both have the Holy Spirit. If not... THEY NEED GOD!!
I would say the guy does... I haven't found out who the girl is, though, so I don't know, but I don't think the guy would even consider her if she didn't....
Boy A really shouldn't be interested in a girl that likes the wrong type of music. I mean, if she thinks it's wrong...
Apparently he doesn't think she thinks it is wrong... but doesn't really know. And it sounds like it's "iffy" music, not something like hard rock or something...
Philippe
08-24-2006, 07:46 PM
Well, then maybe the guy might ask a sister in which he has confiance to talk about that to her... but I do beleive that praying sincerly is the best thing to do in most case as otherwise it might hurt someone that is not yet ready for that. If she does not yet have a revelation on that and she then listen to boy A without conviction, then she is "under the law"...
God'schild
08-24-2006, 09:36 PM
i think that boy A should ask her brother if she has a brother and see what he says.. but he shouldn't go up to her and ask her because she might not take it to kindly if he does.
I totaly agree with anna he should pray about it as well And let God do the work..
BroTrevor
08-24-2006, 11:57 PM
Are they friends already??
IF they're already friends, he should just ask directly.
God'schild
08-25-2006, 12:23 AM
Are they friends already??
IF they're already friends, he should just ask directly.
true..
Boy A should pray frist before he goes directly and ask girl.. He should wait for the leading of the Lord...
AlanaH
08-26-2006, 09:49 PM
I think they should just call the whole thing off.
Sorry, after seeing all these dead serious answers, I had to get that out. But yeah, I do agree with all the previous posts about this....
HotShot53
08-26-2006, 11:38 PM
But yeah, I do agree with all the previous posts about this....
Lol, which ones? I think just about every possible answer was given...
But some more facts I got from Anonymous....
Boy A feels he has the Lord's leadership in his life (the Holy Ghost), but as with anyone he feels he can always have more. Boy A also feels the same about Girl B.
Boy A is more then willing to walk away from this possible relationship without any hesitation.
Girl B's father is even more liberal in his music tastes. Boy A feels there is probably a heavy influence there. Boy A basically knows that Girl B doesn't seem to have a problem or realize there is a problem with music style C. Boy A feels it isn't an easy thing that is cut and dry within the Message because it has been a controversy with several people he has ran into.
Boy A feels pretty strong about music style C.
Boy A's parents had some differing views on music styles in their early years of marriage but seem to have tilted toward a conservative view (for both parents).
Boy A has prayed about this for over 2 years but has done nothing in the way of natural things to affect circumstances. Boy A and Girl B are friends but don't talk real regularly and it's in a very relaxed setting. As far as Boy A knows, Girl B doesn't suspect any interest from Boy A.
Boy A would just like to give it his best shot at persuading Girl B.
Babyruth
08-27-2006, 02:51 AM
Still, no matter how interested in her he is, or how much "in love" he is, there shouldn't be anything serious in the way. People marry and think they can change things about the other person, and both end up sadly disappointed. I don't think the guy should even consider the girl if she is not totally comitted to God and has a good walk with the Lord. Music is a common issue, but it can lead to more serious things. And, if the music is really a big issue, then it shows the girl isn't totally comitted to God. The guy should wait a while and see what happens. Again, prayer is a good thing! It changes things. So, the guy should seriously pray and talk to his pastor about the issue.
joris
08-27-2006, 10:47 AM
People marry and think they can change things about the other person, and both end up sadly disappointed.well, even as I realise this is easy to say and hard in practice but... even God doesn't try to change us if we won't allow Him, so... it isn't really doable
jordancpeterson
08-27-2006, 07:42 PM
It looks more to me like an issue of a guy that is interested in a girl but she doesn’t quite meet up to his standards. If that is the case then should the boy if nothing else be concerned about her soul? I know the two obviously could be in serious conflict (and that is where the danger lies). But where do both fit in (spiritual interest for a soul and a possible natural interest later on) to a case like this? Seems to me that he’s just wondering how involved should he get in talking to her (or her parents) about standards.
God'schild
09-04-2006, 10:29 PM
Lol, which ones? I think just about every possible answer was given...
But some more facts I got from Anonymous....
Boy A feels he has the Lord's leadership in his life (the Holy Ghost), but as with anyone he feels he can always have more. Boy A also feels the same about Girl B.
Boy A is more then willing to walk away from this possible relationship without any hesitation.
Girl B's father is even more liberal in his music tastes. Boy A feels there is probably a heavy influence there. Boy A basically knows that Girl B doesn't seem to have a problem or realize there is a problem with music style C. Boy A feels it isn't an easy thing that is cut and dry within the Message because it has been a controversy with several people he has ran into.
Boy A feels pretty strong about music style C.
Boy A's parents had some differing views on music styles in their early years of marriage but seem to have tilted toward a conservative view (for both parents).
Boy A has prayed about this for over 2 years but has done nothing in the way of natural things to affect circumstances. Boy A and Girl B are friends but don't talk real regularly and it's in a very relaxed setting. As far as Boy A knows, Girl B doesn't suspect any interest from Boy A.
Boy A would just like to give it his best shot at persuading Girl B.
Umm if girl B parents think that girl has a problem with music they should talk to her about it. She might be interested in Boy A, she might not want him to talk to her about that subject so i would say her parents should talk to her about it. or she might feel talking to a close friend about her problem if she sees it as a problem.
AlanaH
09-05-2006, 12:46 AM
Just my 0.02 again....
I wouldn't want a guy to talk to me about a problem if he liked me and I didn't like him in return. It would totally be an awkward situation....
Now if I liked him back, it would be different, but until that's confirmed, I don't know if the guy should press the issue with the girl....
God'schild
09-05-2006, 01:21 AM
i agree.. with you Alanah
HotShot53
09-05-2006, 02:19 PM
Umm if girl B parents think that girl has a problem with music they should talk to her about it. She might be interested in Boy A, she might not want him to talk to her about that subject so i would say her parents should talk to her about it. or she might feel talking to a close friend about her problem if she sees it as a problem.
Actually, if you read the facts, it says the girls parents are even more liberal in their music tastes... meaning her parents probably have no problem with her music.
HotShot53
09-09-2006, 01:08 AM
Just my 0.02 again....
I wouldn't want a guy to talk to me about a problem if he liked me and I didn't like him in return. It would totally be an awkward situation....
Now if I liked him back, it would be different, but until that's confirmed, I don't know if the guy should press the issue with the girl....
And pray tell how is Boy A supposed to know if Girl B likes him? Boy A certainly shouldn’t ask this... should he?
redeemed_lizzi
09-11-2006, 09:19 PM
If Boy A has serious intentions towards Girl A, then he should try and resolve this issue. What exactly does he mean by 'iify' tastes in music. Are we talking love ballads of Elvis, contemporary (rocky) gospel, or music that isn't sung by a Lutheran choir (no offense to Lutheran choirs)?? If they are friends then he can bring it into a conversation in a round-a-bout way. Talking about favourite artists etc. If she mentions someone that he doesn't like he can say that he never really liked their music because of such and such a reason. BUT he should be concerned first and formost for her as an individual and not use this as the last check point before she goes (in his estimation) from an 'almost perfect' potential partner to a 'perfect' one.
.....And no, if he likes her and hasn't clearly stated his intentions, then he shouldn't tell her he's interested.
I really can't begin to describe how wrong this conversation is. It's all people stating their opinions on how things should be with, as far as I'm concerned, purely hypothetical people.
God doesn't deal in assumptions, or personal bias. He doesn't care about what one person would do or how someone should take action.
He deals with people. On an indevidual basis.
You guys don't know the two people in question. You bearly understand the issue at hand. You don't even know what specific music is in question. For all you know, it could be the gaithers or something not produced by the LaFontains. There were no hard facts given in the origional post, and three pages of "advice" followed it.
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but c'mon. Dealing with conjecture and assumptions will only lead to bad advice. When you go about being gentle as doves, and trying to fix other's problems, don't forget that you also need to be wise as serpents.
I agree with Nate wholeheartedly. Boy A (whoever he may be) needs to seek answers out for himself. He also shouldn't turn to his peers in matters like these, as his peers are wholly unqualified.
D.J., be a friend and tell him to seek some godly, aged counsel.
Philippe
09-11-2006, 10:18 PM
Even though each case is particular... some suggestions or facts were interesting and gave us different point of view that might help other peoples...
HotShot53
09-11-2006, 10:34 PM
I agree with Nate wholeheartedly. Boy A (whoever he may be) needs to seek answers out for himself. He also shouldn't turn to his peers in matters like these, as his peers are wholly unqualified.
D.J., be a friend and tell him to seek some godly, aged counsel.
I don't think he really wants it to slip out that he might even be slightly interested in anyone... which is why he's wanting to be anonymous, and would probably rather not talk about it to anyone older in person ;) (Though he may have done that too, for all I know... I just doubt it ;)) And I'm sure he knows that no-one here has all that much experiance... but getting the range of opinions might give him a good idea he hadn't thought of before.
Should we really give up the chance of a relationship with somebody because they listen to "iffy" music?
A certain scripture comes to mind... "Let he who has committed no sin cast the first stone"
If everybody knew your faults would they still be willing to date/marry you?
I'm not saying that person should rush into a relationship knowing what he knows, but don't give up just because she still has areas in her life that she needs to clean up.
Sorry if I offend anybody :sad:
BroTrevor
09-12-2006, 12:51 AM
True...
but we aren't to continue in sin. If the person was actually sinning by said music (as heretofore mentioned that it may actually not be, we don't know) but you wouldn't want to yoke yourself (or potentially yoke) with someone who was continuing in their sin.
Excepting of course they don't know it yet, and then perhaps they need to see, and then they wouldn't.
Yeah... It's definitely to the individuals.
I offer a bit of advice for the young lad, whomever he may be. Such advice I feel is aged and proven counsel.
THE.CHOOSING.OF.A.BRIDE_ LA.CA V-2 N-28 THURSDAY_ 65-0429E
8-6 And if we would study what we were doing when we were going to get married, when we choose our wife or husband, if we'd study it over... A man should pray earnestly, for he could ruin his entire life. Remember the vow is "Until death do we part." And he could ruin his life by making the wrong choice. But if he knows what he's making the wrong choice and is marrying a woman that isn't fit to be his wife, and he does it anyhow, then it's his fault. If the woman takes a husband and knows that he's not fit to be a husband to you, then that's your own fault after you know what's right and wrong. So you shouldn't do it until you thoroughly pray through.
God'schild
09-12-2006, 01:00 AM
AMEN Bro: T
Bro. T... I think you're a few dates ahead of the engagement. According to the first post, the dude hasn't even told her he's interested. It sounds like they're not even good friends. And if that's the case, what he thinks of her taste in music has very little to do with the subject over-all. I'd say his bigger problems are lust, and pride.
Lust, because he's spent more time watching her than talking with her, and pride, because he thinks he knows better than her.
Not trying to be rude. I just calls em likes I sees em.
FreeAtLast
09-12-2006, 05:16 AM
Nate at first you tell us that it ain´t even our problem because we know nothing about it and that it is up to the individual (which I totally agree with)and now you tell us that the 2 big problems of this guy are lust and pride?? I dunno get it.
Just because you like someone and you don´t tell her or you don´t even talk to her doesn´t mean you are lusting after her. Some guys are just simply shy.
BroTrevor
09-12-2006, 10:26 AM
uhm...except that if he's interested in her in that way... why would he not pray about it?
Sure, it's a couple "steps" before engagement, but what really are those steps?
"Going out"? Dating?
If the guy doesn't have a good direction from the Lord, does he really have any business dating?
Dating without the intention of a possible future "engagement" is stupid. It's a waste of time, money, and emotions.
So why wouldn't you just take that prayer "step" to the front lines? Instead of waiting for your emotions to cloud your judgement and get in the way of you hearing from the Lord.
blessed
09-12-2006, 11:24 AM
Bro. T... I think you're a few dates ahead of the engagement. According to the first post, the dude hasn't even told her he's interested. It sounds like they're not even good friends. And if that's the case, what he thinks of her taste in music has very little to do with the subject over-all. I'd say his bigger problems are lust, and pride.
Lust, because he's spent more time watching her than talking with her, and pride, because he thinks he knows better than her.
Not trying to be rude. I just calls em likes I sees em.
Seems to me you are doing the same thing you accused everyone else of.
Seems to me you are doing the same thing you accused everyone else of.
If that's the case, then hooray for double standards!
joris
09-12-2006, 12:54 PM
uhm...except that if he's interested in her in that way... why would he not pray about it?
you are, ofcourse, just assuming he isn't praying all the time ever since - or even before - any post about this came out
If everybody knew your faults would they still be willing to date/marry you?
Probably not. Thank God for the Blood and the Sea of Forgetfulness!
Just because you like someone and you don´t tell her or you don´t even talk to her doesn´t mean you are lusting after her. Some guys are just simply shy.
I was gonna say that.
God'schild
09-12-2006, 01:23 PM
If everybody knew your faults would they still be willing to date/marry you?
If the person Loved you enough to look past you mistakes and faults they would marry you.. If you really love the person you won't look at their faults and mistakes..
Where would we be if Jesus looked at a faults and mistakes?? Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners..
we should not be looking at the mistakes or faults of the person we're interested in we should be looking at the character/personality(sp?) they have, not at their past..
blessed
09-12-2006, 01:26 PM
I'm sure there is someone who will Joe no one is perfect.
blessed
09-12-2006, 01:27 PM
ok so you edited whilst I was posting and chatting @ the same time.
EllyMae
09-12-2006, 02:20 PM
uhm...except that if he's interested in her in that way... why would he not pray about it?
Sure, it's a couple "steps" before engagement, but what really are those steps?
"Going out"? Dating?
If the guy doesn't have a good direction from the Lord, does he really have any business dating?
Dating without the intention of a possible future "engagement" is stupid. It's a waste of time, money, and emotions.
So why wouldn't you just take that prayer "step" to the front lines? Instead of waiting for your emotions to cloud your judgement and get in the way of you hearing from the Lord.
Amen...
What is the purpose of dating? To find our future spouse. (At least for a Christian.) So, if we have no intent on possibly marrying the person, we shouldn't bother dating at all.
HotShot53
09-12-2006, 02:26 PM
uhm...except that if he's interested in her in that way... why would he not pray about it?
Sure, it's a couple "steps" before engagement, but what really are those steps?
"Going out"? Dating?
If the guy doesn't have a good direction from the Lord, does he really have any business dating?
Dating without the intention of a possible future "engagement" is stupid. It's a waste of time, money, and emotions.
So why wouldn't you just take that prayer "step" to the front lines? Instead of waiting for your emotions to cloud your judgement and get in the way of you hearing from the Lord.
Believe me, the guy is praying about it... has been, and will continue to... and I don't think he's even considering "dating" as you described it.
Amen...
What is the purpose of dating? To find our future spouse. (At least for a Christian.) So, if we have no intent on possibly marrying the person, we shouldn't bother dating at all.
Glad someone said that. I know that just needed that to be said by someone else too. :)
Babyruth
09-12-2006, 02:48 PM
If that's the case, then hooray for double standards!
Seems to be a favorite saying of yours. Does it fit, or is it just easy to say? Who has the double standards? What's wrong with double standards? :D Had to say that last one. This is getting waaay too serious! And I mean bad serious, not sincere serious.
Skirty
09-12-2006, 06:21 PM
Sounds to me like ‘Guy A’ should stop worrying about her problems and focus on his own. If he is truly interested and has been praying, AND it’s the Lords will, the door will open.
It isn’t up to this guy to ‘help’ her fix her issues or even to bring them up, it’s entirely between her and God. All he can do is pray.
Just my opinion…
God'schild
09-12-2006, 09:24 PM
Sounds to me like ‘Guy A’ should stop worrying about her problems and focus on his own. If he is truly interested and has been praying, AND it’s the Lords will, the door will open.
It isn’t up to this guy to ‘help’ her fix her issues or even to bring them up, it’s entirely between her and God. All he can do is pray.
Just my opinion…
Amen!!! i agree with you...
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